Actual footage of the Reddit Bureau of Investigation helping me find my "long lost sister".

This is Tina Fey, most popular for her time on SNL and as Liz Lemon on 30 Rock. I'm lost beyond that though.

Thank you for your service.

Churches generally have the same divide as the people who attend them: Urban ones are sane. Rural ones are conservative freaks. And I'm fairly certain this was a Black church. 90% of Black people are Democrats.

Why would you build a high rise on land you don't own? I expect it isn't completely unheard of, but it just seems like a terrible idea.

You're speaking to an incredibly skilled flutist.

"We have the receipts. They uh...go to school in Canada so you can't see them."

"Shortly after searching the incredibly confidential database of financial information our unauthorized access was cut off."

These guys are almost funny, but I hope they go to jail like Tracy Peters.

If one's hardware is 10+ years old, I don't think upgrading to the latest OS is likely high on their list of priorities.

Historically, dictators go hand in hand with peaceful transfers of power after their term is done!

So if you're with two Rikers, you'll probably get ignored. But you get to watch two Rikers, so still worth it.

Conservatives think that some people are just better than others and, surprise surprise, they're near the top of the "natural hierarchy".

"I'm an immigrant, but I'm not like those other immigrants because I don't [Republican stereotype of immigrants]"

Please don't conflate plain, basic criticism with antisemitism. Nobody said anything about a "Jewish cabal controlling Canada". It is fair to question the extent to which some nations support Israel for their own geopolitical reasons.