Hexbear thinks that my other username, PM_ME_FAT_ENBIES is a chaser username. Why? Because nobody could ever have a genuine homosexual attraction to fellow fat enbies, since we're erased as a gender category and portrayed by society as unlovable. Hexbear users think nobody could genuinely be attracted to a fat person. They think it has to be fetishisation. They erase my nonbinary identity and call me binary, and then call me a chaser for being gay. Hexbear is fatphobic, transphobic, and homophobic to oppose my identification as a fat, trans, gay person, and to villify it.

@kristina@hexbear.net is a homophobe. Thank you @WithoutFurtherRelay@hexbear.net for being the voice of reason and pointing out the fact that gay people exist.

https://lemm.ee/comment/5172719

@Catradora_Stalinism@hexbear.net

You asked me to explain my comments to you.

They’re the Israel of lemmy instances

im really not even angry, this is fucking beautiful

like what does that even mean?

I recently watched an excellent video by John The Duncan about pinkwashing, pride, eurovision, and israel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjcCIuSlph4. This pattern of using so-called queer acceptance to legitimise a harmful institution spoke to me as an experience I've witnessed many times, with groups that claim progressivism while attacking narcissists and swarmgender people. Hexbear fits this mold. Now, so does Blahaj and to a lesser extent .world, but Hexbear is the one who proclaimed it to me so enthusiastically and then was so harassing towards me for my gender identity. Look in that original thread and see people accusing me of faking my gender. It's there.

Not surprising. Being trans feels a lot like being straight.

I hope they mean this in like a very very good way

Oh yes, I explained it right there in that comment. I struggled to realise I was trans until I was an adult, because I thought looking at a woman so you can pretend to be her was what heterosexuality was.

Grandma doesn’t have a gender and doesn’t realise why people who have genders think they’re important. She’d be equally happy identifying as a man and she doesn’t realise that’s unusual.

okay please explain to me what this means I legit am just ???ing at this right now

It was in reply to someone saying their relative (I assumed grandma) thinks people would actually transition to get an advantage in sports. I've seen this a lot of times, an older person from before trans rights who is obviously agender and just doesn't realise it, and thinks everyone else would be as comfortable changing their gender identity as they are.

Hexbear is transphobic. They harassed me the whole time I was there

I bet my life savings they were saying dumb libshit or discriminatory bullshit and high tailed it because they got rightly dunked for it

No, it was people constantly calling me a troll or wanting to debate me for having the name DroneRights, because they think drone genders are obviously made up and a conspiracy from the right wing to... promote leftist theory and be in a trans inclusive space?

Now that i’ve looked through, you could be right, because they have hexbear takes everywhere besides when they’re hating on hexbear, okay and some libshit about finding ‘unbiased leftist sources’

I was making fun of libshit, there. Someone linked me a news article which says boingboing.net isn't factual, because it's left wing. You know, the liberal trope that only centrism is unbiased. I turned it on its head and claimed only leftism is unbiased, while centrist news is biased center and conservative news is biased conservative. Fundamentally I believe that all perspectives are biased because of the limitations of our perspectives. I don't believe in objective truth. But it's funny to turn the libshit around and say leftism is unbiased. I certainly think leftist theory contains more clarity and less disinformation.

my real contention is finding out their posting on hexbear, what were they arguing about. Give it to us you nerd, I dare you!

I said gender neutral pronouns exist. Hexbear didn't like it. You can go in the modlog and see my comment.

Keep posting you crazy bastard, godspeed to you.

Okay.

Although they hated on she-ra out of nowhere once and it really hurt my feelings im still coping hard about that one

That show is monarchist. A bunch of queer monarchs team up to save the world and reinstate the monarchy. The first episode is about a child soldier who was brainwashed by the bad guys into thinking monarchs are evil. WHAT. Monarchs are evil. Silly show.

And you can't gender someone using a gender neutral pronoun. It's impossible. A gender neutral pronoun is the same thing as a non-gendering pronoun. That's why they/them is appropriate for people with neutral or mixed gender identities like agender, bigender, andogynous, and genderfluid people, provided the individual person prefers it. they/them is not a gender identity and stop saying it is to agender people. You're making them dysphoric.

Let's go through the hate in this comment step-by-step:

• NPD is not ASPD. This person is either woefully misinformed about us, or is deliberately trying to attack us by conflating us with another stigmatised mental disorder. And why comment about personality disorders if you don't even know what they are? ASPD is in a whole other cluster. It's either ignorance or hate.

• NPD is not a personality, it's a personality disorder. The difference being, not every narcissist is a mental clone with the same personality. That's so dehumanising!

• the literal personification of individualism WHAT. This absolutely reeks of those tankie conspiracy theories that narcissists are responsible for capitalism because we totally control the world since you're not allowed to blame it on the jews anymore. No, NPD has nothing to do with individualist ideology, in fact narcissists are capable of tremendous collective thinking, as evidenced by the fact that I'm fucking swarmgender and I mindmeld with my partners. This person took a look at the literal godsdamned hivemind and said "personification of individualism", because that's how much they hate narcissists.

• "is something that it believes shouldn’t be maligned" yes I believe mental disorders shouldn't be maligned. This is basic fucking leftism you libshit.

• "they don’t have the ability to understand what is problematic about their behavior" Infantilising and patronising. "Oh, narcissists don't have free will to choose good, they're inherently evil" Fuck the fuck off. Dehumanising as fuck. And completely medically wrong, because NPD as a disorder is initially CAUSED by being too aware of personal failings. That's why we need the grandiose personas.

• "the fact that it hurts others that makes it a pathology." completely misunderstanding the field of psychology I guess. Psychologist are DOCTORS. They help people who are HARMED by their disorders. There is no such thing as a hurting other people disorder. Psychologists deal in medicine, if you want to talk about morality go talk to a priest. Psychologists don't care about the morality of their patients because doctors are supposed to heal, not to judge. This is basic fucking intro to psych.

I commented on raven@hexbear.net 's comment recently, but screenshots aren't working on this sublemmy right now (maybe because it's new), so I'm gonna textpost it here:

raven [he/him] English 9 • I disagree with that. I never saw what I understood as a bad faith argument. It bordered on some things that might sound like reactionary points but I think it was just a little confused, maybe had a hard time explaining things on account of being neurodivergent and perhaps didn’t fully understand them in the first place. You just had to get deeeeeeep in the weeds with it to try to figure out what the fuck it was talking about. There were a lot of claims that things are a certain way, and then that thing being referenced out of context later elsewhere and you had to refer back to the whole history of the user to figure out what was going on. Maybe it needed a user to ride along and translate for it lol

combat_brandonism [they/them] English 12 • “If you use they/them…you’ll never gender someone correctly.”

Explain how that’s not reactionary.

raven [he/him] English 1 • I’m going to need the context there because that doesn’t sound like something dronerights would have said.

DroneRights [it/its] English 1 • I said it. It was in the context of using they/them who have clearly stated pronoun preferences that aren’t they/them.

Here’s the nuance: If you call someone who uses they/them they/them, then you are REFERRING to them correctly, but you’re not GENDERING them correctly, because you aren’t gendering them at all. You’re referring to them neutrally, which is the correct way to refer to someone who wants to be referred to neutrally.

https://lemm.ee/comment/5192306

I recently made a new account on lemmy.blahaj.zone, because I’ve been harassed and doxxed on my old account and I wanted a fresh start with a more lighthearted online identity that I could be more open about my gender identity on. I’d heard blahaj zone was good for trans people, so I made my account there. And yeah, autism@lemmy.world removed my post discussing neuronormativism from a queer perspective, but I hoped maybe “the trans instance” would be friendlier to trans people.

A couple days after making my account, I saw someone on Blahaj engaging in the tired old cliche of “I hate politics, there’s no politics on my social media and I want to keep it that way!” Well we’ve all heard the joke that the two races are white and political, the two genders are male and political, and the two sexualities are straight and political. Hatred of politics is a transphobic, sexist, and racist trope. And having sufferred harassment and abuse from people inside the queer community who “hated politics” and saw trans or nonbinary or xenogender identities as political, I knew this kind of speech was going to make bigots feel comfortable saying they also hate politics, and they think us trans people are it.

So, I responded to the transphobia. I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means. But I was interrupted by the Blahaj admin Ada, who told me that politics is “anything I disagree with”, and that indeed politics isn’t welcome on Blahaj. This language was deeply triggering of my past issues dealing with abuse, and I knew from past experience this sort of thing is said by people who are getting ready to say some enbyphobic or racist hate speech. It is especially common for white queer people to talk this way to BIPOC queer people. I tried to reason with Ada, explained the history of the cliche, the trauma it’s caused many trans people, and the consequences this kind of speech will have on the community here, making us all less safe.

Ada wasn’t having it. She minimised my concerns by reducing them to my personal trauma while ignoring my wider concerns for others’ safety, and weaponised my PTSD to paint my opinions as invalid because I am mentally ill. She said she owns Blahaj, and she gets to do whatever she wants with it, and nobody is allowed to express a differing opinion, even one that protects trans people, because that’s politics. At the time I thought her concern was me speaking directly to transphobes and making them feel uncomfortable by calling out their actions, so I said I’d just report it instead, and she banned my account.

This behaviour protects transphobes, WILL lead to trans and BIPOC people being harassed on this instance, attacks and gaslights victims of trauma (my concerns can’t be valid because I have a mental illness), and forces out any trans person with a commitment to safety for the community.

The thread where all this happened: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2143969

I recently made a new account on lemmy.blahaj.zone, because I’ve been harassed and doxxed on my old account and I wanted a fresh start with a more lighthearted online identity that I could be more open about my gender identity on. I’d heard blahaj zone was good for trans people, so I made my account there. And yeah, autism@lemmy.world removed my post discussing neuronormativism from a queer perspective, but I hoped maybe “the trans instance” would be friendlier to trans people.

A couple days after making my account, I saw someone on Blahaj engaging in the tired old cliche of “I hate politics, there’s no politics on my social media and I want to keep it that way!” Well we’ve all heard the joke that the two races are white and political, the two genders are male and political, and the two sexualities are straight and political. Hatred of politics is a transphobic, sexist, and racist trope. And having sufferred harassment and abuse from people inside the queer community who “hated politics” and saw trans or nonbinary or xenogender identities as political, I knew this kind of speech was going to make bigots feel comfortable saying they also hate politics, and they think us trans people are it.

So, I responded to the transphobia. I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means. But I was interrupted by the Blahaj admin Ada, who told me that politics is “anything I disagree with”, and that indeed politics isn’t welcome on Blahaj. This language was deeply triggering of my past issues dealing with abuse, and I knew from past experience this sort of thing is said by people who are getting ready to say some enbyphobic or racist hate speech. It is especially common for white queer people to talk this way to BIPOC queer people. I tried to reason with Ada, explained the history of the cliche, the trauma it’s caused many trans people, and the consequences this kind of speech will have on the community here, making us all less safe.

Ada wasn’t having it. She minimised my concerns by reducing them to my personal trauma while ignoring my wider concerns for others’ safety, and weaponised my PTSD to paint my opinions as invalid because I am mentally ill. She said she owns Blahaj, and she gets to do whatever she wants with it, and nobody is allowed to express a differing opinion, even one that protects trans people, because that’s politics. At the time I thought her concern was me speaking directly to transphobes and making them feel uncomfortable by calling out their actions, so I said I’d just report it instead, and she banned my account.

This behaviour protects transphobes, WILL lead to trans and BIPOC people being harassed on this instance, attacks and gaslights victims of trauma (my concerns can’t be valid because I have a mental illness), and forces out any trans person with a commitment to safety for the community.

The thread where all this happened: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2143969

EDIT: The person who originally posted the transphobic views on politics is now misgendering me and calling me a "guy" despite me being very openly nonbinary: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669. And I didn't call them autistic at any point.

I recently made a new account on lemmy.blahaj.zone, because I’ve been harassed and doxxed on my old account and I wanted a fresh start with a more lighthearted online identity that I could be more open about my gender identity on. I’d heard blahaj zone was good for trans people, so I made my account there. And yeah, autism@lemmy.world removed my post discussing neuronormativism from a queer perspective, but I hoped maybe “the trans instance” would be friendlier to trans people.

A couple days after making my account, I saw someone on Blahaj engaging in the tired old cliche of “I hate politics, there’s no politics on my social media and I want to keep it that way!” Well we’ve all heard the joke that the two races are white and political, the two genders are male and political, and the two sexualities are straight and political. Hatred of politics is a transphobic, sexist, and racist trope. And having sufferred harassment and abuse from people inside the queer community who “hated politics” and saw trans or nonbinary or xenogender identities as political, I knew this kind of speech was going to make bigots feel comfortable saying they also hate politics, and they think us trans people are it.

So, I responded to the transphobia. I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means. But I was interrupted by the Blahaj admin Ada, who told me that politics is “anything I disagree with”, and that indeed politics isn’t welcome on Blahaj. This language was deeply triggering of my past issues dealing with abuse, and I knew from past experience this sort of thing is said by people who are getting ready to say some enbyphobic or racist hate speech. It is especially common for white queer people to talk this way to BIPOC queer people. I tried to reason with Ada, explained the history of the cliche, the trauma it’s caused many trans people, and the consequences this kind of speech will have on the community here, making us all less safe.

Ada wasn’t having it. She minimised my concerns by reducing them to my personal trauma while ignoring my wider concerns for others’ safety, and weaponised my PTSD to paint my opinions as invalid because I am mentally ill. She said she owns Blahaj, and she gets to do whatever she wants with it, and nobody is allowed to express a differing opinion, even one that protects trans people, because that’s politics. At the time I thought her concern was me speaking directly to transphobes and making them feel uncomfortable by calling out their actions, so I said I’d just report it instead, and she banned my account.

This behaviour protects transphobes, WILL lead to trans and BIPOC people being harassed on this instance, attacks and gaslights victims of trauma (my concerns can’t be valid because I have a mental illness), and forces out any trans person with a commitment to safety for the community.

The thread where all this happened: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2143969