A nice thing we do that’s different from Reddit is being able to edit post titles.

I feel like I’ve seen a ton of comments about how the Fediverse is so nice, but I feel it’s the same as what was my Reddit experience. Just less likely to get enshittified because it’s not corporate, and not optimized for maximum engagement and thus max outrage, so still an upgrade.

Seeing bigots (not on Beehaw, but on other servers), although they’re downvoted to hell and contradicted? Check. (Yes, they were downvoted to hell and contradicted on Reddit too.)

Seeing contrarianism just for the sake of being contrary? Check. Happened twice on my own post. I asked people to please reply with advice to my post and not just “me too” or “I didn’t find a solution lol” and got two “I didn’t find a solution lol” so it’s contrarianism, not just me freaking out over a differing opinion. At best they didn’t fully read my post, didn’t get to the part where I make the request, but somehow I don’t think so and I’m usually the type to try to assume the best of people. Those two replies were thankfully removed by an admin, so unfortunately I don’t have any proof to show you that this happened anymore.

Seeing people being condescending? Check. Lots of “Imagine telling people with real problems [insert the original poster’s complaint about a non-world-ending issue]” type replies. Lots of “touch grass” or “and those who think [other opinion] are dorks who need to go outside more” added when a user disagrees with the person they reply to. Lots of all these other snide things that let you know a user thinks very little of not just your opinion but you as well, merely because they disagree with your opinion. And it’s used against people acting in good faith talking about stuff like video games, not against people spouting bigotry on a server that explicitly has rules against it.

The kicker is I don’t even go on the communities that you’d think would be more likely to get heated, like Politics. I have that blocked.

Maybe it was wrong of me to say this was like my Reddit experience. It was like my Reddit experience when I wandered into bigger subs. When I stayed in my niche topic subreddits I rarely saw this kind of behavior.

I still post here out of habit and to try to contribute to the Fediverse’s activity. But I see something like this in at least 75% of my Beehaw sessions. (Yes, I report the meanness when I see it.) I’m probably going to slow my activity and fall off, back to a Kbin server and a different Lemmy server where all I sub to is tiny hobby communities that don’t have any of this behavior. And where they didn’t promote themselves as a nice space, so I’ll be less shocked if I do run into bad behavior. I understand bad actors are everywhere but most of the people seem like abrasive actors and less like intentional disruptors—perhaps it’s people not being too aware of the norms of the instance they’re on because they come from a different server. But I’ve also seen this kind of behavior from people who are on Beehaw accounts. Would think group norms would filter the meanness out, but I encounter it more often here than I do in other places. Honestly not sure how to fix it, otherwise I’d be posting my suggestions because I really do want people to have a nice experience on the be(e) nice server, including myself.

I’m glad everyone else seems to be having a good experience.

Thank you for posting the article text on Beehaw! :)

You may have heard about this on Beehaw! There was just a post about it here, including thoughts about peoples’ experience with the game.

bisexual: sexually or romantically attracted to both men and women, or to more than one sex or gender.

Nowhere here does it say you have to have your attraction equally split between genders. You can be attracted to the opposite sex way more often than you are attracted to the same sex and still be bisexual. 95% opposite sex, 5% same sex still qualifies.

Fits well with the logos used for the communities. I do miss the bee in the cowboy gear though, I hope that image gets repurposed somewhere else on the site.

Cis woman attracted to men here. If I woke up tomorrow looking like the most attractive man I’d ever seen, I would freak out and find a doctor who would help me transition back as soon as possible.

Every time the “reptile” line gets trotted out, I can’t help but feel it’s insulting neurodivergent people that don’t exactly share neurotypical body language or traits or mannerisms, but it gets a pass because it’s Zuckerberg, a person people really don’t like.

I also really don’t like ad hominem stuff. By all means, hate Zuckerberg for the actual stuff he’s done wrong. But his looks and mannerisms aren’t why he’s a bad person and I feel bad for innocent people who share a physical resemblance or some mannerisms and constantly see his get dunked on. “Am I also unacceptable? Are they just bringing up anything they can to be hurtful, or does this have an actual basis in reality and they legit have a problem with his looks and mannerisms? What does that say about how people think about me, about how I’ll be treated? Am I commonly perceived as a robot who’s faking their way through humanity too?”

I appreciate it, good for demonstration and just tickles my funny bone for some reason. I will be delighted if this user gets to 100,000 upvotes—one for every possible iteration of shill#####.

For anyone wondering what V&V is, it’s Vegan and Vegetarian. Found it as one of the new communities on this post. Might be obvious to some, but I am newer to Beehaw than that post is so I didn’t know until I searched V&V and found that post.

I feel like emojis can serve as useful tone markers. Like /s but for many different emotions and intentions than just sarcasm. “It’s raining today 😒” comes off differently than “it’s raining today 😊” does.

I also feel some people just use them for visual noise, and because emojis are “the thing the kids do” semi-relevant emojis get spammed where they aren’t needed. For example, “look at my cat 👀🐱🐾”. That annoys me. I admit maybe it’s just annoyance with no actual reasoning behind it. It might be annoyance a lot of other people share given how unpopular emojis were on Reddit.

I don’t think we need to be as emojiphobic as Reddit, but we probably ❓ don’t 🙅 want them spammed ✉️✉️✉️❌😠 everywhere 🌎🌍🌏 either.

Does your mother apply the same standard to minors who identify as straight?

I’ve actually met some people who will honestly say, if questioned, that it’s also too young to know for sure if you’re straight, so even though it doesn’t respect self-knowledge it’s consistently applied and therefore doesn’t really read as homophobic. But in most cases this kind of talk is just homophobic invalidation and bringing up the above question can help a person realize what was wrong about them saying you’re too young to know. The exact wording I used there isn’t offensive if you’re reading the exact words, but it could absolutely be taken as aggressive and hostile, especially if said in a (justifiably) defensive tone, so you might want to reword it.

There’s probably also evidence for your conclusion about your sexuality: experienced attraction to the same gender and lack of attraction to members of the opposite gender. While someone could attempt to explain away the lack of attraction to the opposite gender as “just have not met the right person yet,” they must then also apply that to every straight person and consider they might be bi but haven’t met the right same-gender person. Presence of attraction is a lot harder to explain away. “You’re confused,” list out the symptoms and ask how it’s any different from what [straight person in your lives] feels for [their partner], and how they’re sure that straight person is not confused. At the very least, this should open people up to possibilities other than straight. It’s possible to think you are gay and then find you’re bi (or you were actually gay, but sexuality is fluid for some and you changed) with an extremely heavy preference towards the same gender, that’s been an experience I’ve seen in LGBTQ+ communities in the past, but somehow I doubt that your mother is referring to this possibility when she says you’re too young to know.

This is more meant as stuff to say to people who don’t believe you than for what to say in the initial coming-out process :P

You can try to push past your emotions and experience with a bad coming out and tell someone. Hopefully this would be someone who you can point to prior evidence of being accepting—getting another negative response isn’t conducive to most people being willing to come out again. Or you can wait until your feelings change. Or you can just not do it. As someone else said, no pressure to come out, only do it if you want to, and you already managed to come out to us.