I might be missing the joke, but Bartender is actually a real program for managing barcode readers!

Was just coming here to say it lmao

Source: It was revealed to me in a dream.

Bust a couple caps in the Well, and everyone starts screaming; it's pretty hilarious because it keeps going way longer than necessary.

Hmmm, still no apple... Better stare a little longer, just to make sure I'm not gay.

Cagey war veteran forms a militia and starts recruiting troops at banana-point.

Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

Oh, most definitely! They added a ton of random encounters, throne room encounters, and a crap-ton of other content. It's got waaay more stuff, including QoL stuff like the ability to invade more than once. Highly recommend another look!

My jam is an indie game called Warsim! It's got a delightful arena battle minigame that you can bet on, complete with audience interference, a spike pit, and goblin streakers. After that, you can have a pint of various drinks in one of dozens of unique taverns, and round out the evening by presiding over the royal court and issuing decrees, proclamations, and dropping unruly petitioners through my personal trapdoor.

They forgot to feed him enough poor people this week.