I honestly haven't seen a lot of real ridicule. Sure, there are memes and other internet things, but those are easily dismissed. I need people going up to them on the street and just laughing at them, like their entire persona is pathetic.

The internet has connected us, for sure, but it also stole the impact that real, in-person interactions can have, both positive, like having a friendly conversation with a stranger on the street, and negative, like with the shame that comes from knowing your behavior is being rejected by your peers.

I think that has to do with why doxxing is a popular way to up the ante in situations like these - things are a lot more real when they're not behind a screen.

I don't think ridicule will change the person being ridiculed for the better - I don't think anything really could until they make the choice to change for themselves, which people rarely have the desire to do. Ridicule is more to quiet people who are displaying bad behavior, incentivizing them to promote it a little less, and to send a message to others who idolize such people that they might want to reconsider who they look up to.

I would say that's exactly what we're doing now, and it's not working. It seems people can live with being called cruel, and maybe even enjoy it. But I think the feeling of being ridiculed is something more fundamentally at odds with a person's self-image, and eats away at their confidence more than other forms of societal rejection.

That's a great point. The use of a more indirect shunning methodology is interesting; I feel like it's classic - what was used before the modern point-and-laugh method, but again I worry that it doesn't drive home the message that the behavior is undesirable. It's more something that 2 adults would agree is a scathing commentary on the bad behavior, but a child - who is more impressionable and therefore necessary to teach what not to do - wouldn't understand is meant to be rejection of the behavior. But maybe that's just another facet to the issue - maybe our society has become too reliant on fast, easy-to-understand quips, when we really need to subtly guide it back to the more thoughtful, introspective lexicon of yesteryear.

Oh, nice, thanks! I'll check those out!

That's fair for his case. But I do think that calling someone something generic like "scum" doesn't drive home enough what they did wrong. Making fun of such people likely won't change the person themselves, it's more sending a message to onlookers that the behavior is undesirable and shouldn't be emulated, so being more specific about what it is they did wrong is still important. I suppose we'll probably just come up with new words as the need arises. I'll have to keep up on the scene so I don't fall behind, haha!

Ah, I see. Sorry, I thought they were highlighting that particular part of their comment to draw attention to the slur itself. I suppose that could be construed as a slur, though I do feel as though it's more often associated with someone who COULD be smarter and more open-minded, but chooses not to be. Maybe it's a bit pedantic, but I think it's important that, while we don't make fun of people for what they are unable to do, we absolutely DO make fun of people for what negative actions they CHOOSE to do. Is there a good word for someone like Nick Fuentes, who is unintelligent not due to a disability, but due to their own bad choices that should be shunned? I'm thinking "ignorant" but that doesn't seem to have the same oomph.

Ah, alright, my mistake. That was the only word in the phrase "An ableist is someone who discriminates against people based on disabilities." that I could have seen as being construed as a slur. What word was it that you would say is a slur, then?

Wait, do you think the word "disability" is a slur? As someone with a disability, that's... just unnecessarily confusing. A slur is a word so ingrained with malice that even someone saying it without harmful intent causes real harm. It takes a LOT to make a word that volatile. There are some things I can't do, abilities I am disassociated with, disabilities. The issue isn't that they exist, it's with the cultural acceptance that they exist, and that I have to do things differently from some others to meet my needs. Trying to govern the word just makes it harder to do that, like you're trying to sweep them under the rug. I mean, what am I supposed to call myself that someone would understand if I can't say I'm a person with a disability?

I was never full-on incel, but I was definitely headed down that path. I was a late-20's fat guy with severe acne all over my upper body, and I'd obviously never had a girlfriend. I looked ahead in life and just saw it going further and further downhill. I tried dieting, working out, etc, but none of my attempts at making a change ever lasted.

One day I saw a facebook post that one of my old highschool classmates had gotten married. The guy looked a lot like me, and at first I was mad - I had that classic incel thought of "why is he successful and not me?" But after sitting in that dark place for awhile, I realized that the answer to that question is that I can be successful! I realized that I'd never tried to put myself out there because I always viewed myself as not being worthy - I needed to be fitter, more attractive, better at talking to people, etc - but did I really? I wanted to find out, so I made an online dating account, cleaned myself up, got a friend to take some nice pictures of me doing things I enjoyed, and put myself out there.

I made a goal for myself to never start a conversation with "Hey" or something similar - I went through every profile I found and picked something specific to talk about. It took a while, and I missed a lot of opportunities by being awkward, but eventually I got good enough at holding a conversation to secure a few dates, and in only a few months of that, I found the woman who is now my wife!

I'm still fat, but having someone to look good for was at least enough for me to shower more regularly, which cleared up a lot of my acne. I'm still pretty awkward, but so is my wife, and we both find it endearing. Life's not perfect - there are still issues - but I'm no longer looking ahead at my life and seeing only downhill trajectory; I have a sense of optimism I didn't have before, and it mostly came from me accepting myself. I'm not sure if other incels are the same as I was - not realizing that the one they actually hate is themselves - but I hope that if they are, they eventually come to the same realization that I did: that they are worthy.

The Best Ways to Stand Up to your Bully

1. Just give him your lunch money. It is one of the easiest ways to stand up to your bully.