[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Yeah, that was about the extent of it. Walk to the fridge in the buff at midnight to get a drink for the wifey, or basically other "between clothes" bits. It's not like I was flopping around 24/7. Hanging out, watching TV, playing games, eating, w/e I was clothed. I'm not a prude, but I'm not a weirdo either

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Respectfully, I don't tell you how to live your life, so please don't tell me how to live mine. In many, many cultures, the human body isn't immediately sexualized and nudity is common, or at least not looked at with disdain. Part of my thought process is that the human body isn't shameful. Even in "civilized" culture, first world countries, whatever you want to call it, plenty of countries have much more lax viewpoints than puritanical America. Nude beaches for example, arent sex crazed erection centrals. People have often sexualized breasts, but there's that whole "free the nip" and equality for walking around topless. The human body isn't something that is inherently shameful.

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

What is this, a kindergarten reading level?

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Okay, I'll make it simple since your reading comprehension leaves something to be desired: your bias is keeping you from allowing people to be themselves. The fact you don't see a problem with an entire subsect of people being excluded from an event shows that you are a disgusting person that shouldn't be allowed in public.

53

Ever since I came out to my wife and kids, and started being myself, my personality has changed, a lot. I'm more extroverted, weirdly enough. I've been a bit sharper with the kids, not in a mean way, but, more of a no-nonsense kinda way. I used to walk around the house naked all the time, but now I feel compelled to cover up. I blame a disconnect with my body on that one.

I feel more confident to just, go up and talk to people, ask if I can take their picture. I can make posts without second-guessing myself and deleting them.

I know it's all just me finally getting in touch with myself, but it feels weird, even to me. I used to be this demure, quiet, self conscious girl, but now that I'm letting her out, she refuses to go back into the box. It's like a seal was broken. I'm having anxiety about going to my nephews birthday party, cuz I'm not out to that part of my family, and most of them are fundamental Christians.

I did manage to talk to one of my brothers today, and he accepts me, though he has some bias. Basically told me if it was anyone else, he wouldn't be so willing. So I have some work to do there. Or not, if I can't help him see people as people.

Remember, everyone, not just the trans community: You are loved. You are valid. It's okay for you to be you.

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago

Friend, I'm going to try to be gentle, and honest, and I hope you will listen with an open heart and mind.

I came out to myself, and my wife and kids about a week ago. I was born with the mind, the spirit, the personally, the essence, whatever, of a woman 37 years ago. I have been living as a man, conforming to society's rules for 37 years. It took me four days, two hours at a time, to feel 40% of the way you do, just by waking up.

Note: I don't know what gender you are. I don't actually give a flying fuck. The point is, if you want to go sit in a sauna with your peers, you can. I can't. All the normal experiences you had, weather you was born as a girl, and was annoyed that your mom made you sit still so she could fix your hair, or as a boy playing catch with your dad or working on the family car, you got that. You got to go to prom wearing what you want. Hell, you can go take a shit at the mall without people giving you dirty looks.

I can't.

Trans people don't want to insert themselves anywhere. Society wants to exclude them from everywhere. It may seem pointless that it's just some beauty pageant, but imagine you have this beautiful car you built, by hand. You even had to so much custom shaping and fabrication, but goddamn is she pretty. Let's take her to a car show, shall we? Wait... You can't show off the car you've literally spent years on? After all this time, after you spent all this money, all this time, hiding away. You are scared. This isn't a mass manufactured car, what if you get made fun of? It's fine, it still has the shape of a car, and it's so pretty, and you are so proud!

What.. it isn't allowed? It is a gorgeous car though.. They say it isn't actually a car, just a bunch of shit someone slapped together. You can't just take a Ford, strip it down to it's frame, rebuild it peice by peice, and still call it a car. You cheated, and it's wrong. Hell, for good measure, they tell you you can't even register to drive it. It now sits in your garage. Collecting dust.

If you don't understand my allegory, you are you, the car is your true sense of self, your "transgenderism" if you must call it that, the car show was gonna be the pageant but I spaced out and it became representative of society as a whole for a minute....

You are absolutely right that we want to be accepted. You're accepted. Why can't I be like you? Why do I have to be scared my step brother is going to beat the shit out of me just because I have to take a piss? You can go to the store and just... Grab a gallon of milk without having to worry about some bigot stalking you and hurting you just because you wore yoga pants because you think you have a nice ass. I'm nervous to step into my own backyard to have a cigarette without an entire man-costume on. You can literally put on whatever the hell you want, step outside, and and shout at the top of your lungs "I'm here!" And nobody will bat an eye.

If I put on whatever I wanted, stepped outside, and met you for the first time, pleasant as can be, your preconceived notions would be that I'm some weird bundle-of-sticks-word that need to go inside and has no place in society.

TL;DR: Trans people are people too

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago

That's cool, except if only certain people with certain body configurations have the uncontrolled freedom to be themselves, that's still a problem.

Or, as long as people who do not identify with the body they were given are ostricized, there are problems. As long as there are people who are groped because their body is different, lynched because their skin is different, or kept out of certain rooms just because of growths on their bodies they have no control over, there are problems.

Just because you remove a label doesn't mean there isnt a problem any more.

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

What is this word salad? Could you rephrase using your own words, please, instead of parroting something you think you heard?

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

I'd rather a shawarma system. Looks tasty.

31
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by VirulentAura@lemmy.world to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Trigger warning: dysphoria, if it isn't obvious.

It's kinda fucked up, amirite? I feel like a couple of people tried to get me down today, and I stood up for myself. And it felt good! I've been waiting 37 years to be me, to be the bad bitch I always wanted to be, always being so demure, so quiet, so... Passive. But since I came out I've felt this energy, this confidence I've never had before. I even went to, and through the grocery store in full girlmode! Yoga pants hugging my excellent buttocks and all. (It's the one thing everyone complemented me on when I thought I was a guy) Nobody batted an eye, even found a cool dude promoting love and positivity

(I thought I got a good picture, but I didn't T_T. Imagine a 75 year old dude that rode his bike to Walmart, just... holding a sign saying "You're Loved." The coolest of cats.)

And then... My brain has been unloading every intimate detail of my childhood; being 7, and told I can't take a bath with my 4yo cousin cuz she's a girl, and I'm a boy, and you just don't do that. Boys don't play with Barbies. The hair growing all over my body at puberty. I've always called myself "wolf man" from all the hair.

I cried for 15 minutes yesterday because I had the realization that my mom will never put my hair up, just cuz I asked my wife to help me fix my hair while she was watching me play video games.

I cried for 10 minutes today after shaving my right arm, and seeing how pretty it actually is under the hair. And then my wife got upset cuz I told her I was gonna slow down, but then I cought sight of my ugly, hairy man-hands and needed to fix that right now, and shaved my arms this morning. Thinking back on that is making me feel really dysphoric. I just want to be like you (her).

I'm sorry for the vent. I just needed to clear my head. And I'm so sorry if I trigger anyone or ruin their day. I just needed to lament on what is probably a common experience.

30

Hi, girls! I have been wanting to make a post for a few days, and just need to get some things off my chest. I think I might be somewhere on the autism spectrum, and it's kinda hard getting my thoughts into a coherent order, but I'm gonna try.

Three days ago, I officially started my journey. I thought I was gonna start with crossdressing and go from there, but I'm fooling myself. I came out to my wife and children, which was both easy and hard.

Easy, because two of my children are NB and transgender.

Hard, because first, being yourself is one of the hardest things I've ever done, and second, my wife has always described herself as straight.

She has been extremely supportive. She's letting me wear some of her leggings that don't fit her any more, but fit me comfortably, and in ways I'd almost like. (It hugs my butt really well, but I don't have hips)

She's given me tips for shaving my legs, and has offered to help me learn how to do makeup and my nails, but she is struggling.

And it's a lot, for both of us. I love shaving my legs. I hate shaving my chest and face. And I think I realized, as I shaved my chest for the first time, I hate shaving my face, and now my chest, cuz it's in my way from looking as girly as I want. I hate shaving my face and chest because I have to to present as feminine, but I like shaving my legs because I get to and it makes me feel feminine. Gotta say tho, I (mostly) love the results from shaving my chest and belly. It feels really good(except for the stubble on my chest/breasts)

I've doven headlong into my transgender journey. Shaving my legs, butt, and chest. Wearing women's clothes at least in the yard of our apartment, kinda in public. I do throw jeans over my leggings when I go to the store and the like, cuz I'm still not completely socially out yet, but we are moving soon, and I feel like, maybe, in a new place, I can girlmode all the time? I don't have to worry about my conservative parents or siblings causing me hell because Jerry saw me at Walmart, and it getting back to mom when she goes to church.

I've also been looking for packing underwear and breast plates or breast forms, but I like doing my shopping in person. It's different seeing a picture on the screen and looking at it in person, even if it is through packaging.

I am worried though. My brain is screaming it wants female hormones. I hate all this body hair. I want full breasts of my own, not ones I have to wear. But I've read my sexuality my change. I don't want that. I love her very, very much. And, please don't hate on her, but the one thing she doesn't want me to get rid of is my penis, which is fine by me. I like sex. I like sex with her. But if I start hormones, there is a very real possibility that the sexual dynamic will change. I've read penetrative sex could be uncomfortable, as your sensitivity and the thickness of your skin changes. But! Getting rid of random erections sounds so great! But! If you don't "exercise" your organ, it could atrophy, possibly becoming nigh useless.

All this is a lot. I'm scared. I'm excited. My wife says that this is the happiest she has ever seen me. Ever. In our nearly twenty years of relationship, nearly 18 years of marriage.

Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. -VA

TL;DR: I'm transing my gender, and I'm scared and excited

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

So she wanted to get dicked down. What's the problem?

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago

And the trans person leaving their home? What was their crime?

[-] VirulentAura@lemmy.world 112 points 1 year ago

The point is that you shouldn't be arrested for a thought crime just for dressing slutty. She wasn't cought prostituting, she was cought with condoms and "dressed provocatively." I feel like you only read the title.

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VirulentAura

joined 1 year ago