Or, you know… treat your workers better?

Adorable! I’d love a domesticated one. I’d imagine they give great cuddles

If I come across a recipe that has cup measures there’s no chance I’m using it

Either I do this, or jump straight into the middle of a story with zero context

Better Learn to Fly though, just in case

I can’t in good conscience bring a child into this world

Guillotine

Their clothes are great quality too

I’d get this framed

I—what?

Someone create a NotTheOnion community!

Actually, no

Do you have a carbon monoxide detector?