Breaking news: Reddit CEO purchases free software: "still not the dumbest decision I've made this month" says Spez in rare moment of self-awareness

Hi spez!! Is the jailbait subreddit you were moderating coming to lemmy?

Edit: thanks for le gold!!

Edit 2: wow 69 upvotes nice

Edit 3: 420 UPDOOOOTS??? BLAZE IT LOL

Do you have a carbon monoxide detector?

This announcement is supsiciously light on NFTs.

Will there be any new collectible avatars to help commemorate this occasion?

As someone who is a real person and not a bot programmed by Reddit, I have to ask how are you bravely handling all of the negative publicity that our handsome and fearless leader doesn't deserve but is getting anyway. Anyway, I'm a real person and not a bot, and certainly not paid by Reddit to post this.

Did you kill Aaron?

Why couldn't it have been you and not Aaron? It's is because you're zero threat?

Hi u/spez, why did you cancel my AMA to promote "Barbie" on reddit?

Fuck u/spez

Can you tell us about your new upcoming movie, Rampart?

Youtuber Louis Rossman called you a rapist. Is that true ?

If you were in a room with Elon Musk, Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler, could you stop fellating yourself long enough to give disappointing blowjobs to all your heroes?

How do you feel about all the people who want to have intercourse with you?

I can’t be the only one who expected a shittymorph ending, with in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.

Can I have the password for your Reddit account?

feel free to waste your time and ask anyway!

Are you staring in the sequel to Rampart?

Hi u/spez I was wondering: When am I going to get the money? It's just that my wife has been very vocal about it. "Where is the money?" "When are you going to get the money?" And so on.

Bring on the cat girls!!

Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or never read this question again?

Rampart

Will Reddit develop a voice reader that features your voice? I have no idea what you sound like, but you look like you must have a terrific radio-voice. Definitely don't look like someone who'd be whiney and annoying.

We did it, Reddit!

What's your favorit Dinosaur?

Where is all the porn?

How do you like your eggs?

Are you realizing your decisions have ruined the site in ways I didn't even think of? (RemindMe bot dead, etc)

And if not is that due to the typical Silicon Valley pompous, ego driven, narcissistic beef brain bullshit?

The April fools jokes are gonna be fire next year

What is the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Spezbux?

Why am I attracted to the hooves of a centaur, but not a horse?

Hi u/spez! This is exciting news. I'm looking forward to your valuable insight into the question of how to go several days without pooping. Three day's worth would be optimal, but I'm sure everyone would be interested in your vision for a future without enshittification

Dear spez, Who killed Captain Alex?

Lemmy is open source and federated so cannot be bought. The fediverse is what the Internet was supposed to be.

ohh, hyped about the scents.... my olfactory nerve is trembling in anticipation, and I'm losing control of my sphincter. Which is never a good combination.

How do I give you some ~~Reddit~~ Lemmy gold?

Is your residence well guarded? I have a few drones and some... bom- I mean explo- UH.. things I'd love to give you!