[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

That means a lot. Thank you. ❤️

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah moving into 36 years old and I’ve never felt like I need to rush into having kids because that’s just what you do. I know I would be a good dad, but if it’s not a burning desire should it be really something to take on? I feel like that should be an innate quality when making the decision to have kids.

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Thank you for this. Yes, that’s part of question for me. Does always imagining having them mean I really want them?

I also think one of the things I fear about not having kids is the work it will take to really accept and love myself. I feel like kids can substitute that kind of work in a lot of people. Without them though I’m really faced with myself.

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yes, my dad has been on medication that slows it, but it’s definitely taken a turn these past few months. We had to get the doctor to tell him to stop driving this month. It’s been really hard on him especially since he doesn’t know why and thinks it’s his fault and that it must be because he is simply too dumb enough to drive. It’s truly heartbreaking.

Also, that’s a good point that something entirely different could happen before Alzheimer’s.

I don’t have really any big fears in my life. I’m good with heights, I can run workshops and talk in front of hundreds of people. But I’ve always truly feared losing my mind since my psych 101 class in college. My plan is to go to a country that allows assisted suicide if I do end up getting it and can still make decisions in my right mind.

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, only recently have I been opposed to having children outside of the Alzheimer’s question. We could afford to have them, but it would truly be paycheck to paycheck which I wouldn’t be comfortable with. Plus there are plenty of humans already on this poor planet.

Also, my partner is very against having children. Which I understand, but it’s a different place to be in life when I always imagined having them. Now I’m trying to decide if I truly want to have them and the boat is sailing since I’m 36.

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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by cygnus_velum@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

This has been on my mind lately. My dad is going through it, his sister has got it pretty bad and I apparently have the predisposed gene to get in my future.

I’m leaning no because I wouldn’t want to make my child go through slowly watching their dad’s mind leave them and also potentially pass it on to them when they get older.

It’s thrown me for a loop since I always imagined myself having kids and I’m around that age now.

What do you think?


Edit: I just want to say that I did not expect the kind of response this post got. I’m grateful for all of your comments and the perspectives it’s allowed me to peak into.

I also should mention that were I to have children they would most certainly not be burdened by being the crutch of my own personal journey of accepting and loving who I am. That is work for me alone and I would never unload that responsibility onto those I love and especially those who I’d be raising.

As for my partner not wanting kids, I would never consider forcing or persuading them to raise a child when they know for certain it’s not in their cards. This is another element in how I’ve been navigating this question. I love her with everything I have and I can’t imagine us being apart and yet there is a pang that lingers of the father I assumed I would eventually become.

Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful replies. They’ve helped so much especially since this is the first time I’ve voiced these thoughts.

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 71 points 1 year ago

It looks pop-up Spirit Store quality what the hell

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Yes too often and I find it can sometimes leave me emotionally on edge as if it really happened. Wish I could just turn it off.

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago

This is obvious trolling, but everyone here is so sincere.

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Have you found any active communities on Lemmy or Kbin for production?

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 71 points 1 year ago

Chris Christie can go pound sand, but I really enjoy him saying how it is with Trump.

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

[https://www.theguardian.com/news/2021/jul/18/what-is-pegasus-spyware-and-how-does-it-hack-phones](Well crap. We’re fucked then?)

[-] cygnus_velum@lemmy.world 77 points 1 year ago

How is this even feasible on Android or iPhones? Are they going to force everyone to download Team Viewer or something?

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cygnus_velum

joined 1 year ago