I absolutely hate those things. And I am very far from still being a teen. They don't discriminate the way they are advertised.

AAAAAAAAAA!

And what country is going to accept mass political refugees from the USA?

You make it sound like that's an easy option that everyone has.

Nothing, they had a PhD in seismology.

That's a fun one.

I have an Illusions of Grandeur/Donate deck that can't do first turn, but can take someone out all at once (if I'm super lucky, like all my decks it very rarely wins)

There are of course also Magic: The Gathering decks that can do that on a lucky first hand.

My favorite is this one, which in the abstract can do literally anything a computer can do. Yes, You can in theory run Crysis on a Magic deck. During your opponent's turn.

Like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Wind turbines also.

But some solar does focus it on a tower to make steam to drive a turbine.

I'm talking long before digital channels existed. (In the US anyway)

Even before the 2000s they started showing a blue screen instead of static.

That wasn't just a digital or flat panel thing.

But of course old sets were around for a long time.

Looks fine in the Eternity app.
Unless OP fixed it already.

Hamilton is a last name. I won't doubt that there are some people who have it first (not checking), but they probably have two last names.