Why does Putin look like he's trying to push out a wet shit but it's stuck?

Depends on your time zone

So... does that mean visiting my grandma at the cemetery or my own mom who is now a grandmother?

Epic. He knew that was coming.

I expected nothing from him and was still disappointed

They'd probably be fine with that as long as they're not unborn

We're talking Italy, so Celsius is assumed.

Must be one expensive meal to be 1/20th the cost of an American ambulance.

I'm sure this is exactly how Europeans react to getting stabbed

I, too, would use this chair to feed tacos to my dog.

Xits. The x is of course pronounced with the sh sound, just like the platform Xitter.

Who's on first?