parody

You and I are the only US citizens. Those people faked their documents. They can prove it if El Salvador is willing to un-deport them.

Why would anyone wealthy conduct a transaction traceable to them in this instance?

They can’t hire somebody to hire somebody to hire somebody to put on a mask and go hire a rando and survey the rando until the job is done and take 90-99% of the profits?

Rando guaranteed to be arrested and will come 100% clean:

“It was a MALE! In a black mask! I even know their height!! Give me an audio lineup at the precinct, it’s one of 150 million I know it!”

“…they drove a late 90s Toyota Camry!”

(no money under the mattress could explain it a bit)

Birth-2024: fuck guns (outside a skeet shoot range)

2025: fuck how much sense you’re making

I hate it. Zero desire to be the owner of something that can get me sent to jail so easily. Ridiculous how calculuses are changing.

It’s not that I can imagine using a weapon against any living being but I can imagine headlines that may scare me even more without access to something defensive

Off to not buy anything, wish me luck

Damnit

Thank you very kindly

Then we need to at least empower that district court to decide what constitutes a successful facilitation? For instance, if we don’t threaten tariffs unless we get the man back, apparently we didn’t even try.

For anyone who would prefer the original link, here’s the direct link to Twit——

just kidding

Thanks

But really, who wouldn’t? They’re not our kids! Well, nearly 100% of them aren’t. Little Johnny will forgive papa for it one day right?

Ooooh the street lights are table supports?!

Wonderful

Parent commenter may be recalling this story but not sure

Beginning at 2:31:24, the full quote reads:

[Musk] journeyed to Pennsylvania where he spent like a month and a half campaigning for me in Pennsylvania, and he's a popular guy, and he was very effective. And he knows those computers better than anybody, all those computers, those vote counting computers. And we ended up winning Pennsylvania like, in a landslide, so it was pretty good, it was pretty good. So, thank you to Elon.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-musk-vote-counting-computers/

Fixing link so I can click

Wiki: Star Trek: The Next Generation – A Final Unity