There once was a man from Bulgaria that loved trains. He loved them so much, he got a job as a train conductor. One day, he was driving the train too fast and it caused an accident. One person died. He was taken to court, found guilty, and sentenced to death.
At his execution, the executioner asked him what he would like for his last meal. He said, "One banana, please!" So the executioner gave the man a banana, and he ate it. They put him into the electric chair and the executioner threw the switch. There were lots of sparks and flashes, but the man didn't die! By Bulgarian law, this is considered divine intervention, so he is absolved of all his crimes.
In fact, he was able to return back to his job as a train conductor. However, he didn't learn his lesson, and he was driving the train too fast, and he caused another accident. This time, two people died. He was taken to court, found guilty, and sentenced to death.
At his execution, the executioner asked him what he would like for his last meal. He said, "I'll have two bananas, please!" So the executioner gave the man his bananas, and he ate them. They put him into the electric chair and the executioner threw the switch. Again, there were lots of sparks and flashes, but the man didn't die! Now, as you already know, according to Bulgarian law, this is considered divine intervention, so he is absolved of all his crimes.
So again, he goes back to being a train conductor. And again, he doesn't learn his lesson. He drives the train too fast, and he causes another accident. This time, three people die. He is taken to court, found guilty, and sentenced to death.
At his execution, the executioner asked him what he would like for his last meal. The man said, "I'll have three banana, please!"
But this time, the angry executioner shouts, "NO! You're a MURDERER! I can't let you get away with this!" So he pushes him into the electric chair, and he throws the switch, and there are lots of sparks and flashes, but again the man doesn't die!
And the executioner says, "I don't understand.... I didn't give you the bananas, how are you still alive?"
And the man says, "Oh, it has nothing to do with the bananas. I'm just a bad conductor"
You don't need to slave over a stove for 3 hours to get caramelized onion. Here's what you do. After slicing the onion, get the pan up to a medium heat with a splash of oil. Toss in the onions and add a bit of salt to make them sweat. Once they start to dry out, go golden at the edges, and even stick to the pan a bit, add a splash of water. You do have to stir continuously for this method as well, but it takes much less time. Do this process a few times where you add water, cook it until its dry, another splash of water, cook it until it dries out again, etc. Sometimes I'll even alternate in a splash of white wine for fun. You should have beautiful caramelized onions in 30 min with this method.