Also, am I the only autistic here who hates watching movies and television?

They always abuse my senses, yet everyone loves them and doesn’t care how I feel about it and they seem not to care about my autism either because they play painful movies all the time and without acknowledging my needs.

I suspect they think watching movies all day every day is supposed to be therapy for me but I try to watch movies on my own and they all abuse my senses and then they play those exact same movies I watch because therapy.

Rarely do I watch movies anymore because of my senses being assaulted and my needs as an autistic person are constantly neglected by either people who like entertainment or people who think entertainment is also therapy.

At the very least, my dad is a moviegoer and he understands better than any human authority figure I know that I cannot handle movies no matter what I or someone put on.

And then people attack my autism as well.

Or they coax me into recognizing my actions against my will when my autism makes me different than anyone anywhere in the world.

Because it’s not about living with a neurological difference, it’s about being forced to behave normally when there’s no such thing as normal for people everywhere I go.

Sorry, I went on a tangent, but you understand.

I’ve been stigmatized by many people throughout my life because I involuntarily do things they often criticize me for because they think I’m doing it all on purpose but I’m not.

People stigmatize me because they aren’t very accepting of me or they blame me for my actions claiming I should be responsible for them or they treat me like a regular person who they think tolerates what they call discipline even though they don’t understand.

What do I think? At the end of the day, it’s all about what you believe in: nobody’s wrong about anything, everyone could’ve handled it better even if they’re doing the best they can, and personally I think other people don’t define who you are whether they know you or not because it’s hard to tell anymore what is right or wrong…at least that’s what I’m told.

Even arguing with my parents produces stigmatic responses because I did something unusual in front of them: everyone I run into does that, and I didn’t even do it on purpose.

But they do tell me some good advice though, and while they’re not perfect they’re not bad.

I bring this up because I argued with my father at home before we calmed down and apologized to each other and made up for it.

No other person has that deep a relationship besides some friends and families I know from another place, and while religion is unpopular on Lemmy I follow Christianity which gives my life a purpose and a better meaning than just personal success like everyone else.

No one’s perfect, but everyone’s fine that way.

Who else faces autism stigma daily like me?

I bring it because people have used me many times for their own ends wherever I go and I wanted to clarify how to find people you trust especially if you have autism like me.

For example: I was called "the perfectionist" at my kindergarten for having routines and wanting to do things the same.

There's a guy at the gym I go to that's been making me feel a bit uncomfortable to the point that I don't like going if he's there. For example, I was going to go today, but I feel a little crappy so I don't even want to deal with it.

At first, I thought he was friendly. I was working out near him, and left my things to get water. When I came back, he said he thought that I had left without my things, but to me, it looked like he was trying to see what was on my phone. He always initiates the greeting between us, but he greets me like he thinks I'm a child. I also get the feeling that he is looking at me a lot so I try to face away from him most of the time. I might be sounding insane, but it's like he memorized my routine, and sets up near the spot I'm going to be at next before I get there. This is just a hunch though. I might be too sensitive with this stuff. Also, I've seen him bring friends to the gym. They're usually younger and smaller men, and it looks as though he is almost parading them around like he wanted everyone to see them together. Crap. Writing this out is giving me the creeps 😬

Since he hasn't really done anything outright, I can't really say anything right? Like, "Hey bro. Are you looking at me?" lol. Would it be weird to talk to the gym staff and have them look to see if I'm crazy or not? But then they're going to think I'm crazy and starting problems if I'm wrong. Maybe ask a friend to secretly watch me workout to see if I'm making this up?

I'm trying to see what we look like in NT settings from a 3rd person view. Most of the examples I know are shows about autism specifically, but I'm looking for a more natural NT setting type of thing.

Edit: Looking for a normal show in which one of the main characters are autistic, but autism is not the central focus. My brain feels like it's gunked up lately, so having trouble explaining things. Like trying to run in a nightmare. iassgdgdsflsfd

Pictured: Cheese and crackers.

This is a series I enjoy reading (Hellboy by Mike Mignola) although I read more Marvel and DC before I got tired of both and switched to indie comics like Dark Horse:

I like reading Mike Mignola because his stories are written so well in my opinion and his art style and collaborations with other artists and writers are really nice, probably because I switched from the Big Two (Marvel and DC) to indie comics from Dark Horse and maybe other companies too (Image Comics?).

I had read Spawn by Todd Macfarlane, but put it down because the drama was too much for me and I lost interest in reading it so much.

I personally think Dark Horse is a good publishing company too in my opinion: they publish all kinds of media around the clock.

What are your favorite comics you like to read?

I genuinely open up about this matter.

All my life, movies have usually beaten my senses whenever I watch them somehow.

Anyone could yell and it would affect me but not anyone else whether they have autism or not.

Wherever I went, a movie or show would be playing and people would make me deal with it by refusing to turn it off over other people.

Never mind the things I disagree on with each movie or show…all of them genuinely affect my senses and they always did even right now.

I am autistic myself…does anyone else with autism know how to handle this situation?

I've recently been trying to work out how to describe my difficulty talking about certain topics and trying to find out if this is an autism trait, a common co-occuring condition, or just anxiety. Lacking the right search terms hasn't helped in that regard!

Neither selective mutism nor alexithymia seem to be quite the right terms, although it's definitely connected to topics that carry emotional weight. I can have the whole concept or discussion that I want/need to have worked out in my head, but when the time comes my chest really tightens up and my throat feels restricted* and it's like I have to physically push to get the sentences out.

(*) I know that this is a physical indicator of stress and am very much aware that I am stressed in that situation. However, it's not the way I typically experience stress, though (I usually carry that in my shoulders/back and end up with vice headaches from high-stress situations).

It's similar (but definitely not the same) as when I feel like I am bracing myself for a verbal assault (again, that manifests itself specifically in a lot of tension in back). I don't think I'm expecting to be attacked, but it definitely feels like my system is screaming at me to not talk about whatever it is.

This is also distinctly different to when I can't quite explain something or struggle to describe what I am feeling. In those cases I end up taking a minute to work out how to phrase what I am experiencing or describe the concept I am trying to explain (and I almost always have to break eye contact to do this).

Does anyone else experience this sort of difficulty and how would you describe it?

Edited to add clarification (also in one of the comments):

I can talk about lots of things (not just special interests) including divisive issues such as politics (and sometimes even when I know I’m likely to receive an unpleasant response), but it’s difficult to neatly categorise what types of topics cause this. If I had to guess, it would be topics surrounding my (emotional?) needs that are most likely to trigger this. The current one (and this was a challenge to even type) is the fact that a combination of health+work+life factors is currently making me feel like I’m stuck with no good options to resolve them and hence going to miss out on a lot of things in life that I value.

It’s not necessarily dependent on who the other party/parties in the conversation is/are, either. For example, I have an incredibly non-judgemental and compassionate GP and yet one of these instances occurred when trying to work through my health issues this year. My wife is incredibly understanding and patient as well, so it’s not as though it’s an unsafe environment for the above conversation either.

I always knew I was different, but it was only at 33 that someone suggested I might have it (I was getting myself checked out after my father passed), so I talked to a doctor about it a couple of times but never truly did all the tests.

It took me having both kids diagnosed to go through the entire process to get my diagnosis (same as the kids, unsurprisingly), and I cannot avoid cursing myself at 33 for not doing it sooner. Everything I learned in the 10+ years between both things could have made that period a bit smoother, using all the tools and techniques I have acquired since.

Recent in this question is however you define it 🙂

What behaviors do you conduct when completely unmasked?

Ok, I had a preauricular sinus, which I have had removed because of later complications (apparently is more common, but I can't find the specific data) and probably dyspraxia (of which diagnosis I won't seek, as I have already had enough trouble with the great Slovenian medical system (at least we have public health insurance)(as you can see, I also can't shut up if that's in the DSM)).

Think about all the "quirky" things you do when you think no one is perceiving you.

What words or phrases do you repeat repeatedly?

Cross-posting here from lemmy.world because I'm autistic and this might be an autistic thing. It think it would be helpful to hear how other autistic people make sense of this since we seem to think alike. Also, does any here have this same issue with being confused by the term?

inb4 "Baby, don't hurt me."

But for real...what do people mean when they say "I love you," or "Do you love them?" I'm really confused by this because love seems to have such a varying definition. People say love for all sorts of things, and it seems like everyone else understands which definition they're using in the moment. Here are some examples in which each one has a different meaning:

• I love pancakes.
• I love my mother.
• I love my romantic partner.
• I love my best friend.
• I love my career.
• I love going to the beach.
• My dog loves me.
• That couple is in love.
• Where is the love?

Background: I recently saw an episode of a show (spoiler below) where there was an adolescent heterosexual couple. The girl had a female best friend that she kissed, and is now confused about what she wants. She told her boyfriend about it. The boyfriend then asked her, "Do you love her?" What is he asking? If love means attachment and care, then clearly she does because that's her best friend. However, since that is so clear, he's not asking that. What is he asking??

Another specification is when people ask "Do you love them, or are you in love with them?"

I am confused by this term and the whole concept in general. I think I could really use some clarification, examples, or how to know which definition someone is going with when they use it.

Name of show

The show is Atypical on Netflix.