851

These might be the good old days. Go outside, feel the grass, say wassup to your neighbors,... whatever you do that means community, because sh*t might get bad for a while.

101
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

Things in poor neighborhoods are done differently than in middle- and upper- class neighborhoods. People that grow up in poor neighborhoods develop behaviors, customs, and beliefs that are different from other neighborhoods because they are part of surviving in the struggle. When they move on up, some of those behaviors, customs, and beliefs are no longer necessary and can even be harmful (e.g. strong reactions to perceived attacks). Others may actually provide an advantage (e.g. living through power outages). Regardless, these changes can cause a sense of estrangement from their childhood and original culture, leading to some resistance. Given all that:

What did you change and what did you keep?

43
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

I've had my dog for 2.5 years now. This might seem like a silly question to most, but I'm kind of oblivious to some things that are obvious to most people (e.g. having allergies, knowing when I'm hungry, when I should go to the doctor, etc.) so I would appreciate helpful responses.

Signs

  • If my dog gets on my bed, I sleep poorly until I change the sheets.
  • If I sleep with my dog in my room, I wake up tired and like I had trouble breathing all night. It's like if my airway was smaller/tighter. I've already been assessed for sleep apnea and they said I'm okay.
  • Even without my dog in the room or on the sheets, when I sleep at home, I wake up pretty tired and it takes me a while to get going in the morning. This doesn't happen when I sleep elsewhere like at hotels.
  • If I clean up my house really well and change the air filter, it seems like I have more energy for a few days.
  • If I take a cetrizine (Zertec) or loratadine (Claratin), I feel a little better in the morning, but it's not like if I slept elsewhere. I don't feel fine, just a little less bad.
  • Basically, I'm always tired when I sleep at home.
  • If I pet a dog and touch my eyes immediately after, my eyes get itchy until I wash them out. This will happen with their saliva as well.
  • If I run my forearm across a dog's back from tail to head and the dog has thick fur, I will get hives from the fur slightly poking my soft skin.
  • If they lick my skin and I don't rinse it off, I may get hives too.

Contra

  • I'm mostly fine throughout the day with regards to what I assume are allergies. My nose is fine, and I rarely sneeze. It's only related to sleep.
  • My nose doesn't get stuffy like I see in other people.

Writing this out, it seems like it's highly probable. If so, what options do I have?

  • Could it be something else causing the sleep issues at home?
  • Is this a reason to see a doctor?
  • Are there meds that work better than Zertec & Claritin and wont make me feel funky like with Benadryl?
  • Do I need to accept that I can't have a dog?
  • Maybe I can make my dog an outside dog? But that seems terrible for a dog that's been inside their whole life and follows me everywhere I go in the house (she's a Rottie). I don't want to sleep poorly and be at 60% for another 10 years.

This is a lot ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

Edit: Alright, I've got an appt with the doc in 2 weeks. Thanks for the help, everyone!

202

If you never lived where it snows and were moving North to where it does snow, what would you have liked to have known? What would you do to prepare?

64

!sillydrawingrequests@lemmy.autism.place

An accepting, humorous, and social community to request and share drawings inspired by this post. No drawing is bad unless it violates the rules.

How to

  1. Make a post requesting a specific drawing.
  2. Respond to posts/requests by commenting their submission to the request.
  3. Respond to submissions as you please.

Rules

  1. Drawings must somehow match the request
  2. Do not submit your own drawing in a post. Instead, submit it as a comment to your post.
  3. Follow instance rules

Encouraged

  1. Fun enjoyable drawings without considerable concern for their quality
  2. Improvised drawings
  3. Ridiculousness
  4. Enjoyable praise and conversations
  5. Participation of users that are "bad" at drawing
  6. High quality drawings that are humorous or creative
62

Is there a bot for creating reminders on Lemmy? Say for example I see a comment that I would like to be reminded of in 3 months, I could reply to the comment with "remindme 3 months" or "remindme February 2, 2025" and on Feb 2, I get a direct message in my inbox reminding of the comment with a link.

4

cross-posted from: https://ponder.cat/post/538617

159
How funny, right? (lemmy.autism.place)

Meme: Gif of Pedro Pascal and Nicholas Cage riding in a convertible with the top down and looking at each other. Pedro's expression looks like he just shared something humorous. His caption is, "Abuse survivors sharing funny stories about their childhood." Nicholas' caption is, "Everyone else," and looks bewildered.

86

Looking for the perspective of anyone that has lived anywhere in the USA and moved to Puerto Rico. What's it like, what's different, what's nicer, what was unexpected, and would you recommend the move?

11

Ok, yall. Check this out.

Problem

ADHD

  • Frequently showing up late to things because you miscalculated the time it would take to get ready and the extra time you need to find all the things you misplaced or realized you forgot once you left. Also, you might be focused on something when it's time to start getting ready and you don't want to give that rare drive up. Getting to places early gives you too much time to get hyperactive and get into that nervous boredom state.

Autism

  • Transitions aren't natural. We want things to stay stable and the same. Transitioning from one environment to the other takes extra time to get used to it. Rushing it makes us feel unprepared, confused, and takes up more mental energy. Because of this, we may delay the transition and end up being late.

Solution

Plan to get anywhere you are going 15+ mins early and have a task you want to complete in those 15+ mins.

  1. This would ensure you get there on time.
  2. It is also productive so you don't feel like you're there wasting time, feeling perceived, and controlling your stimming.
  3. It gives you 15+ mins to get used to the environment and transition, so you can show up calm.
  4. Since you're busy doing a task during that time, either in your car or apart from everyone, you don't have to participate in the small talk session.

Benefits

  • Start being on time to things
  • Less anxiety and stress when running late
  • Less sense of shame for being a habitual late person
  • Accomplish minor tasks
  • Arrive to location/event calm and with more energy
  • More energy means better focus on task/event
  • Avoid small talk

Yoooooooo ๐Ÿคฏ

60
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

With winter coming up, I have two options for home heating.

Central unit

  • I can use the central unit and close/open vents throughout the house to heat up only the individual rooms I want. This would heat up rooms very quickly. However, to make this work, the living room with the thermostat will also need to be heated so that the thermostat reads the proper temperature. The living room is by far the largest space at about 2.5 times the size of the largest room.

Oil-filled radiator

  • I can use an oil-filled radiator to heat up an individual room. This would be much slower, but I wouldn't have to heat up the entire living room. However, the oil-filled heater might not be as efficient as the central unit. I don't know. I plan to rarely heat up the living, no more than once per month.

Edit: The central heating unit is actually a heating kit made up of a few coils that is added to the central a/c.

Edit 2: Where I live, it might freeze once per year over night for a few hours.

Which would be more efficient on the electrical bill, and would t be considerable or negligible?

86

Meme: Two panels.

1st panel

  • Drake in shunning posture
  • "With all that you have accomplished, you cannot be AuDHD. Stop trying to find excuses or pity."

2nd panel

  • Drake in welcoming posture
  • "I'm impressed with your accomplishments despite being AuDHD. You're an amazing person and could contribute even more with proper support. I hope whatever you achieve improves my life somehow."

Why is it so hard for people to work together and support each other? Why do things turn into competitions, disagreements, rigidity, who's right and who's wrong?

For all my autistics, ADHDers, and AuDHDers out there making it happen with limited support and extra barriers, I know you exist and I'm proud of you. I hope this post helps you feel seen today. โœŠโค๏ธ

PS- I'm having one them days. ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒŠ

Bonus: Grateful by Kota the Friend (NSFW language)

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 129 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Small unit leadership. Units down to the squad level (13 Soldiers/Marines), are in control of themselves. They are given objectives, constraints, and all relevant info, then told to achieve the mission. They're also in constant communication with other nearby units. There is no solid plan. It is all contingency.

Squad leaders get a 5 paragraph order: SMEAC

  • Situation: What the battle field look like.
  • Mission: What needs to be accomplished. Who, what, when, where, and most importantly, why? The why lets unit make adjustments as necessary.
  • Execution: Overall greater goal, enemy weak spots, and what other units will be doing for the mission.
  • Admin & logistics: Beans (food), bullets (ammo), band-aids (medical info/gear/plans), & bad guys (EPWs)
  • Command & signal: Command structure and communication matters

These units figure it out on their own and coordinate with other units that are in control of themselves also. From what I hear, Russian troops are all dependent on commands from an officer! lol. That would be insane in the American military. Everything would get paralyzed every time there is an unexpected issues, which in battle, is basically all there is. Battle is a series of unexpected issues. To quote the philosopher Mike Tyson, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."

tl;dr: The American military is trained to function assuming units know how they function best and everything will go to shit. It's designed to maximize individual strengths and be chaotic af. American units don't know what they're doing until they're doing it.

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 115 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

That is some savage shit. If Eminem were at the table, he would have taken notes.

Edit: I mean, yeah, he did go overboard, but that Israeli guy started it with the stupid ass potato joke. That shit was (1) uncalled for and (2) played out. If the Israeli guy goes to HR, they need to reprimand his ass, too, for trying to being offensive and sucking at it. At least my man here knows how to strike. You want him on your team.

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 89 points 3 months ago

Unless you're part of a greater organized movement that has the ability to make effective changes, not investing is just screwing yourself over so someone else can make the money. Invest. Buy a home. Save up for retirement. Have nice things. Go on vacations. It's okay to not be the poorest person on Earth. You are not the problem.

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 116 points 3 months ago

What I find interesting about this is that someone can still afford it because the market sets the price. We know that housing costs have increased immensely due to limited supply and because housing is a need, but someone can still afford it. Otherwise, they'd lower the price to whatever someone can pay. So if a lawyer cannot afford the rent, who can??

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 198 points 3 months ago

Someone told me they saw people on Facebook complaining that the Olympics opening ceremony was too diverse. I was like, did they want to have an Olympics with all other countries banned?? That already exists, and it's called national championships. Otherwise, a sports competition that includes the entire world is going to include people from the entire world. I don't understand what they wanted...an Olympics in Paris with only White USA??

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 97 points 3 months ago

How to be comfortable with silence so you don't make others uncomfortable with noise.

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 148 points 3 months ago
  • Wants to continue democracy and peaceful transfer of power

  • Consistently demonstrates adequate mental health

  • Respects religious diversity

  • Has stable and data-driven policy stances

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 150 points 3 months ago

Sounds like the ex made a good decision breaking up with anon

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 136 points 4 months ago

Yoooo, there were two incidents in which a Soviet service member saved the world by refusing to fire nukes. One was during the Cuban missile crisis. The USA blockaded Cuba in response to the USSR placing nuclear missiles there. A Soviet nuclear-armed submarine went down under a US naval ship. The ship started throwing dummy charges over to scare the submarine to come out. The sub hadn't had any comm with the USSR in days and thought they were under attack. Two of the three officers needed to approve a nuclear torpedo strike argued for the strike. The other, Vasily Arkhipov, declined despite the other officers insisting. Arkhipov was able to convince the other two to not strike and bring the sub up to reconnect comm with Moscow. The immediate conflict eventually ended with no casualties or strikes. Had they fired a nuclear torpedo, it could have led to a nuclear war.

The other was pretty close too. Three weeks before the incident, a Korean airliner full of civilian passengers accidentally flew into prohibited Soviet airspace due to a navigation error. The Soviets thought it was a US spy plane and shot it down, killing everyone on board. Tensions were high af. Three weeks later, Soviet surveillance equipment showed that the USSR was being attacked with 5 nuclear missiles by the US. Stanislav Petrov saw the incoming missiles and decided to not report the info further up the command because he thought there was no way an American first strike would only be five missiles. He waited for confirmation of the missile strike from the ground, which never came. After a while, it was evident that the system had a malfunction. They eventually discovered that a rare coincidence between the Sun, some clouds, and the Soviet satellites resulted in the false alarm. Had Petrov reported the incoming strike, it is quite possible that higher command would have ordered a "counter" nuclear-strike because of their view of the US.

Both of these incidents were scary close to ending the world as we know it. It wouldn't have just destroyed the USA and USSR. Aside from the direct attacks and destruction of infrastructure and institutions in the stated countries, the strikes would have resulted in a nuclear winter and eventual worldwide famine for over a decade.

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 89 points 4 months ago

I had a similar experience.

  • Most of my friends were generally similar: straight-shooters, into science, and unique.
  • I had a friend whose kid I related to so much, that eventho I am generally pretty bad with kids, they used to ask me for advice on how to address certain issues with him.
  • When I was at a farmer's market, I saw some toys that looked interesting. I asked the salesperson what they were for, and she responded saying that they were for autistic kids because it helps them calm down. I seriously said, "Man, those autistic kids know what's up." I bought two of the toys. One was for the kid mentioned above, and the other was for me.

A year later, a friend that is a psychologist tells me that I'm autistic. I get a formal evaluation just to make sure, and yep, I'm certainly autistic. For the next year, all these odd experiences in my life start to make sense:

  • I tell my friends and they said that they are autistic too and thought I knew because it was so obvious.
  • I learn that flappy hands is an autism thing. The kid mentioned flapped his hands whenever he would get excited. They weren't necessarily asking me how to raise their kid. They were asking me for advice with autistic traits and issues.
  • They toy was a fidget toy, and I bought one for myself because it was soothing... because I am autistic and adhd.
[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 211 points 4 months ago

I feel like I'm going insane. How is this even happening right now? One of two presidential candidates is so old, that his own party is asking him to not run because he looked like an elderly person that got lost at the grocery store during a live presidential debate. The other is a deranged narcissist that was the previous president, clearly colluding with Russia, has be found guilty of 34 felonies, attempted to overthrow the previous election, and has explicitly stated he will be a dictator.

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 110 points 5 months ago
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