nah i get it, i assumed good faith on your part as well. i skimmed through some threads in that sub and all i wanted to do was start jumping saying "guys just pause a second so we can talk about some of this language". but thats absolutely not the place for me to do that.

it would be as productive as the guys who'd go into r/twoxchromosomes posting "explain like i'm 5 why my wife left over not doing the dishes enough". assumimg good faith, i get he's thinking "ok this is where other women who have done this talk, i'll ask them". there wasnt anyplace else to send the dude, so a few people would try responding. but it always devolved into language policing, because not doing so in that space would forfit the sub to the people it was designed to be safe from. i never commented in that space specifically because it was their sub and i was just there to understand perspectives. i was a guest in their home.

people need to be able to use the only words they know with the meaning they understand them to have. before they can do any self reflection or understand why it becomes important to adjust our language for eachother sometimes.