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Have you considered having Headscale on a cheap VPS? We are actually doing that and it is pretty capable. IIRC, you can configure not to use the tailscale servers at all, and use your own public VPS for coordination. Bonus point, tailscale hired the Headscale developer and maintainer, and they are allowed to work on Headscale while on their payroll. The team looks very much into FOSS.
Yep. That's the number one contender. Well right after overriding default DERP's with my own VPS machines. I'll definitely try it out over some weekend.
One of my other concerns with this and other solutions suggested is the reliance on wireguard which can be subject to fingerprinting and censorship. Do you happen to know if it'd be possible to swap out Headscale's implementation of wireguard to amnezia? I'll have to do my homework anyway, but who knows, maybe there are some pitfalls to avoid.
Oh, never heard of amnezia. Never needed actually. But it looks like a good improvement on Wireguard. I will need a separate setup to test it out and currently I'm away from home with no clue when I will return. If I happen to find anything, I will definitely ping you.
In the HN page you linked many people mentioned v2ray. Have you tried that? How good is it?