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She won’t talk to me, what do I do? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by voytek709@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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So I (18NB, 18MTF) started dating this really nice girl (17F) who I’ve known at my school for a while.

I told everyone I know about her, I like her, she likes me. However, I’m still not completely over Karl (even though he’s been kind of an ass TBH since he started being friends with his ex.)

I told her if I couldn’t move on, I would have to break up with her and couldn’t go out with her if I had a crush on someone else.

I’m aware I told her about all these things, like going to a restaurant, having fun at the arcade, kissing her, etc, but now I’m having second thoughts and I guess she’s upset.

The last time we talked, she asked me about our relationship and I told her to stop talking about it. She did, I guess, but won’t talk at all now.

Update: A new message reads “I really hope this will work out. I love you ❤️. Also, please know that if it doesn’t, I won’t talk for a while, but it’s not because I’m mad at you. I just need to process things, especially with my depression and all.”

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[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Don't worry about still having feelings for your ex. That's normal. You used to like him after all. And even if your relationship did not work out he is still mostly the same person. But what you miss are his good parts and the good times you had with him.

This is normal and nothing to worry about. Accept these feelings for what they are. Nothing is wrong with having them. It doesn't mean that you like your girlfriend any less.

[–] voytek709@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I forgot to say, Karl is a crush, not an ex. I liked him but he started being a jerk after befriending his ex who hates me

Okay, he’s not really a jerk. He’s nice and rude because of the ex, and the ex told me Karl hates me because the ex is a bitch.

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 8 points 3 days ago

Everything I said still applies. Feelings are feelings. You cannot choose how you feel. What matters is if you act on them.