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You saw where I said it was a bad idea and not to take it seriously right? It's just a fact that this WAS the solution for too many people for too many years. And super unhealthy as it was, it's how people coped until their either died or fell apart.
I get you don't see the humor in it, and that's okay. I even called it alcoholism which anyone can recognize is a bad thing, right? I didn't suggest having a little alcohol to loosen up or to numb those feelings, I went straight to you can always just fucking make things even worse.
But also, in the past people drank heavily as a coping mechanism for all kinds of physical and mental pain. It was a BAD mechanism, but it's how people hid their pain without dealing with it. It's why people think their parents were so good at dealing with difficult times. They weren't, they were just covering it up with alcohol and they got lucky through selection bias.
Is that sufficiently direct? Sorry to ruffle your feathers, mate. My father and son are both in recovery. Dark humor is how I deal sometimes.
Me, too. And I feel like you think I'm not allowed the same authenticity in how I deal with that subject, but I disagree. A very serious lecture is fine but it isn't the only way to communicate a point.
You are certainly allowed to be offended but I rather think you are missing the point.
Whoever said jokes aren't serious? You're old enough to appreciate Carlin, Pryor. They made careers joking about serious things. I joke about serious things all the time. It lightens the tension and makes serious subjects a little more palatable. It feels less like a lecture and more like friendly advice. Advice that was very clearly and openly stated not to turn to alcohol to the point that I thought it might be rather tedious to belabor such an obvious point.
I'm very sorry that my manner offends you, and that should preclude reasonable conversation on a subject about which we both agree. However, I completely disagree that your emotional reaction must dictate the one true way to talk about this subject. By all means, share your advice and experience, but kindly leave me out of it.
I'm not offended. At all. I understand, this is a trigger point for you. You can't look past your own experience and that's unfortunate. You also confuse your experience with authority. In fact, being a self-important authoritarian is about the most American thing you could do right now. (I have no idea what you were trying to say there? That exclusively Americans can use humor on serious subjects?)
I'm going to do us both a favor and ensure we don't have this conversation again. Have a good day. Congratulations on sobriety. That's a huge accomplishment and I don't have to like you to respect that.
It’s sad to hear you complain about your son like that but at the same time my younger sibling is exactly that person😭 I almost though you were my parent
I love him, but we have three other kids (one of whom is autistic with severe anxiety) and jobs and parents and siblings. And he just wants to talk about how hopeless everything is or how his anxiety attacks are actually heart issues that no one is willing to take seriously to detect the problem, or he literally won't talk at all and just wants someone on the phone in case he suddenly dies. (He's had physical workups several times and nothing is found, but the reality is everyone has to go sometime and sometimes it's a freak thing. That's just life.)
It's fucking exhausting and there just isn't enough to give no matter how hard we try. Even when we are literally killing ourselves or getting reamed by bosses because of the constant calls at work or having to go get our 15 year old out of school at least one a week, it's not enough.
I'm going to be honest, I'm only fifty and I'm not afraid of death because it will be a fucking relief some day, and everyone can just find a way to fucking deal without us.
Anyway that's my rant. I'm sorry about your brother. One thing I can see with my own eyes is that sometimes it's hardest on the person who can keep their shit together and has to because it's always chaos and there just isn't room for anyone else to fall apart EVER. So mate, I hope that isn't you. And if it is I hope you recognize that you need help too and that's okay. No one gets a free ride in life. We all have shit to deal with, however well we keep it together for others. Good luck!
I’m gonna save this to reply on the computer, hard to read and reply on mobile!