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Maybe stick to the stuff that comes out of the tap. (mander.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago by FlyingSquid@mander.xyz to c/science_memes@mander.xyz

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[-] buycurious@lemmy.world 131 points 1 year ago

Reminds me on this chemist joke:

A man brought his chemist friend to the bar for a drink with the other friends. When asked what he wanted, the chemist decided that since she's the designated driver, she'll order water. "I'll have some H20, please!" the chemist said, with the man replying "I'll have some H20 too!"

The man died of ingesting hydrogen peroxide.

[-] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 110 points 1 year ago

And the joke's alternative anti joke punchline:

The bartender served them both water, because he fully understands everyday human interaction and translated the request as intended.

[-] SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago

Well, for as much as you use the chemical formula for water in your everyday human interactions, anyway

[-] dustyData@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

The bartender didn't mind, since he has a sense of humor and understood he worked in an entertainment facility where people derive fun from saying and doing goofy things with friends and acquaintances, and this isn't even be the weirdest thing he has heard a patron say this week.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

"Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house ... she's morbidly obese."

[-] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 50 points 1 year ago

Little Billy was a chemist

Little Billy is no more

For what he thought was H2O

Was H2SO4

[-] mustardman@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 year ago

I've heard it as:

Little Billy took a drink, of which he'll drink no more.

For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

[-] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

For better meter: Johnny was a chemist's son, but Johnny is no more / What Johnny thought was H2O you get the idea.

[-] lunarul@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago

"I'll have some H20, please!" the chemist said

To which the bartender replied "I'm sorry, but we don't have icosatomic hydrogen"

[-] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 29 points 1 year ago

I love the sequel to that one, too. Same set up. ... The first man orders H20 The second man says "why would you say that? It's incredibly pretentious, and you look like a jerk. Just order water." The first man frowns and sulks because his murder plot has been foiled.

[-] affiliate@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

is it called hydrogen peroxide because there’s one hydrogen per oxide?

[-] ornery_chemist@mander.xyz 17 points 1 year ago

It's actually because "per" is used to denote the maximum "proportion" of an element. Compare "oxide", which is just one oxygen. "per-" is also used in chemistry in the sense of the Latin prefix "per-", which attaches to adjectives and verbs and such to convey the sense of "very" or "all the way". For example, sometimes we refer to molecules as being "perdeuterated" when all hydrogen atoms have been replaced with the heavy isotope deuterium.