this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 23 points 3 days ago (1 children)

are all the impressed comments in here from men lol

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 35 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Men are silly. I have a friend with a gigantic penis (thickness and length) and he's always very upfront about how terrible it is. It is difficult to find women that enjoy vaginal sex with a man his size and even when he does he has to be very careful to not go too deep as he could injure her. He can only wear boxer shorts, clothes are difficult to fit without looking indecent, and he always wears tights under his bathing suit.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

he needs to find cooler pools.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Yeah had woman tell me that she dump a guy because his penis was to big. He tore her vagina and she bleed. She said that shit hurt. Having a huge penis isn't always flex for women.

He might as well get into porn, but normal woman don't want a dick that size.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Great story! Had a roommate telling a story of his old roommate in college. This guy was said to be packing a full-sized hair-spray can.

My guy is doing his engineering homework when his roomie stumbles home from the bar with woman. They head straight to the bedroom, of course. After 5-minutes:

"Oh hell NO you're not putting that thing in me!"

She went straight out the door, still pulling her clothes on.

Poor fella.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Yeah I heard lots of stories just like that. Also when she was telling that story, there was several other women in the room and they all agreed that they don't want a gaint dick put in them. You see that shit in porn, but that shit isn't normal.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

This reminds me of the lady that played Elvira. She was a Vegas dancer as a young woman and actually lost her virginity to the singer Tom Jones. She said he was huge and completely tore her up to the point that she had to go to the ER afterwards. I'll try to find the interview.

EDIT:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/elvira-actress-sought-med_n_6317

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Interview, hell she put in her book that I own and read all about their relationship. Everyone should read it. Yes that part was fucked up.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I first heard the story on the Howard Stern morning show as she was being interviewed back in the 90's.

[–] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 days ago

#BigDickProblems

[–] freeusething@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 2 days ago

I’ve had an 11” before - like baby arm girth too. It’s absolutely physically taxing. Not just the “ouch” from cervix bumping but also there’s just something about big penises that make it feel like exercise. 9” is fun but it’s like I ran a marathon.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This is a serious plot point in the novel The Godfather.

I'm packing 7.5", but skinny, and I used to hit bottom with every woman I had sex with. Fun to painful (for the woman) in an instant. A 14.5" schlong would be worse than useless.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago

Any bigger and he'd need a thorny crown to go with that cross he's bearin'. Poor bastard. Betrayed by one of his closest friends. PSA: Don't get Judas'ed by your own dick, y'all.