this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2025
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[–] cynar@lemmy.world 42 points 3 days ago (7 children)

To all the people putting guys down for using it, screw you. If it gets dad's more involved in parenting, that's categorically a good thing!

Is it a cheap trick to boost some men's confidence? Yes. But so what? If your wife has an overly girly nappy bag, an "ironic" overly manly one has a lot more effect than you might think.

A lot of men are very insecure, when it comes to parenting. There is a massive amount of training and advice out there for mums, but VERY little for dads. We are left in a limbo of either being disconnected, and complained about, or bumbling and being complained about. It's improving, but slowly.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

I agree. To me, this is just an amusing fashion choice. If you're gonna need the gear, so you may as well have fun with it.

Honestly, when it comes to any accessory or tool, it's going to have an aesthetic. Who cares what that is (as long as it's not offensive). There's also a tendency to consider terms like 'fashion' to be emasculating, but that's what this is: fashion. Plus, kiddo isn't going to care about logos and any gender representation; the only shit they're giving is in their pants.

Other fashion choices for diaper bags that could be explored:

  • Metal (leather/pleather, spikes, denim, band patches)
  • Goth (like above, but with less denim and more ankhs and crosses)
  • Gamer (cosplay appropriate bags, pokemon that's also a bag, D&D mimic on a shoulder strap)
  • Sports (tons of practical and team-branded merch options here)
  • Office (suit material, inoffensive beige, briefcase handles and leather)
  • Handyman/tradesman (toolbag or toolbelt aesthetic, tool manufacturer branding)
  • EMT/firefighter (first-aid compartment, red/white aesthetic, cheeky "diaper emergency kit" on outside)
  • Outdoorsman (gore-tex, tent material, typical REI brands, lots of straps for different carry options)

Edit: not a dad. Some of these may already exist. Point being: it's all a matter of taste.

[–] CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I am a dad and a baby toolbag sounds awesome. I love the way a good toolbag makes your stuff accessible to you and would absolutely want a baby version (or perhaps an insert into an existing toolbag?)

That's kind of where my head was going. I also had a good chuckle when I imagined a bright turquoise baby-bag with "Makita" on the side. Then again, that's exactly how you get a refrigerated compartment for milk.

Also punk. You could cover pretty much any bag with patches

[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

Not sure if I want more parental involvement from the kind of guy who wants military aesthetic everything, but I get what you mean. I guess everyone’s style will be cringe to somebody

[–] defuse959@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

My kid has been wearing 2nd hand metal shirts for about 15 years. That was also the aesthetic when we made quilts for him as a baby.

I gotta imagine there’s people out there laying heavy judgment on that decision. We think it’s hilarious. Poor dude was like 13 the first time I got a call about a Cattle Decap shirt he was wearing. I guess, technically it was sacrilegious but I appreciated him self advocating and pointing out a “guns, god, country” shirt another kid had on.

Thanks for attending my ramble about judging people’s parenting fashion.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

If it gets dad interacting, and bonding with the baby, it's good for both of them.

For most buyers, it will be a minor statement "I chose to be a hands on dad". For certain demographics, that's a big deal.

I put it in the same category as bright pink tool kits. They look slightly silly, but get people involved.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I don't think the military style is the issue per se, rather than a society that is heavily gender coded, to the point that men who want to get involved with their kids find themselves constantly using female coded gear, which is a constant reminder that "you're doing a female task!" and only pushes them away / attracts ridicule.
Let them fucking have this. It's baby steps, you know?

I'm lucky France isn't in the hands of Y'allqaeda just yet, and that I ain't worried I'll catch the gay if I wear the wrong colour, but I can't imagine what it's like in the US, honestly.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 days ago (1 children)

men who want to get involved with their kids find themselves constantly using female coded gear

This isn't an issue with baby carriers. Look at the top results on Amazon. They're mostly black or grey. Sure, more than 90% of the images with a parental figure show a woman, but the items themselves aren't "gender coded".

Given that, the idea here is that carrying around a baby is itself a gender-coded activity, so men need to use gender-affirming clothing to emphasize that they're not women by buying something that looks similar to what a soldier might wear. That's what's fucking stupid. Just buy the standard black baby carrier. I promise 90% of the world won't think you're less of a man because you're caring for your offspring.

[–] CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago

Most of those baby carriers fit like shit on men because the shoulder straps are too close together. I hadn't found one I found reasonably comfortable until these tactical ones started appearing.

[–] bytesonbike@discuss.online 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Pretty much.

Rainbow shirt - ugly looks by conservatives.

Camouflage pattern shirt - ugly looks by the hippies.

Cthulhu shirt - ugly looks by the Christians.

SUPREME shirt - ugly looks by society.

[–] SparroHawc@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I was gonna say muppets shirt, but then I remembered that I know people who were traumatized as children by the Fire Dancers in Labyrinth.

It's the marionettes in sound of music for me. Somehow they fell right into my uncanny valley.

[–] Genius@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

What about a diaper bag with the UNSC logo on it and a baby bjorn that says "player 3 🎮"?

[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I mean I’d take one of these

And one for the Texans

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's funny, but can you imagine how much that kid would get shaken around just from a standard walking motion?

Or while dad is riding a horse

[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Holy shit, I'd wear that baby hjolster. I would absolutely get chaps and dig my dancing boots out of the closet for the outfit.

If you see another dad with one you can have a baby draw duel

[–] defuse959@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

As an old dad, you have my sign off. Especially if you can get a jumper that says 1v1 me. I always appreciate a kid that will stare you down.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Man if this is what gets a dad involved in raising the kids I feel bad for the kids. Is it looking at the child when they are first born? Is it the smile on the child's face as he sees thier dad walk through the door after a long day? Nope it's the camo gear that does it. They didn't want to be involved when is some girly baby, but now that there's men's gear specifically marketed toward manly man now he's interested. That kid is screwed.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Dad's get frozen out of a lot of early parenting things. Anything that gives men the confidence to get more involved is good.

E.g. my wife took our daughter to "sing and sign". I decided to go along when I could. Out of 20 parents, I was the only non-mum. The next meetup, there were over 1/2 dozen dad's, and a grandad. The instructor was surprised and pleased with this. All it took was them knowing they wouldn't be the only dad there.

If a "manly" bag gives them the confidence to break the norms, then good on them!

[–] sqgl@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

True. Still funny.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] semperverus@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

There's the door, see yourself out.

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works -2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If it gets dad's more involved in parenting, that's categorically a good thing!

It's literally making their parenting hands-free.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

The carriers were one of the best buys we made for my daughter. She hated the pram, but loved being carried. With a carrier, she was close, and warm, while being involved in what we were doing. We could also get on with the basic tasks of life.

FYI, the wraps, for smaller babies are also great. The baby cuddles you get are amazing. Also the smell of your own baby is like crack cocaine. It's one of the best bonding tools out there.