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thick skinned employees, how can you be so thick skinned? (linux.community)

submitted 1 week ago by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3420358

as said previously I'm a nurse, which means the overwhelming majority of employees are women. Gossiping, being unauthentic, cattiness and passive aggressiveness is a daily occurrence.

My current unit: there are 2 men that seem to be completely stoic (I don't know what word would describe them better): they ignore drama and jabs, even if directed at them, they are punctual with their pauses, I mean really, 30 minutes and that's it, and can ignore when other coworkers lazy around, even if it means they have to be the ones doing most of the work, extra work they don't receive any extra money or recognition for.

I am writing in awe, because as much as I'd like to be this thick skinned, I am not. The feeling of being treated unfairly rubs me the wrong way really fast. My strategy so far has been to lazy around so much as my direct coworkers, even if they're part of an established group at the ward I don't belong to. They're the ones supposed to be showing me around and teach me. If they don't work, why should I?

I believe this is a trait of mine, something nearly impossible to change, it would make more sense to change the setting than trying to change me, to change jobs. I don't know how to play this game where I am, in a workplace where most employees are women.

But my question remains to all of you who are this thick skinned: how? I don't understand it. Don't you find it tiring? Doesn't it make you feel like shit when you go back home? Don't you feel taken advantage of?

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[–] imapuppetlookaway@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

This is how I see it too. It helps to develop the habit of having your own project or interests in mind which you can turn your mind towards whenever you sense yourself getting drawn into the drama. For example, I'm writing a novel; during breaks/pauses/time off, any attention that I give to the silly dramas and childish behavior at work takes energy and focus away from my novel. Whatever your hobbies or off-work interests are, nurture a habit of focusing on them at will. (that's not to say let people treat you badly, by the way. I just mean it's a way to tune out the noise).