It’s a form of self care.
I don’t get paid enough to care about other people or my employer so instead I’m conserving my energy to take care of me and the things I care for.
this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2025
27 points (90.9% liked)
Asklemmy
50446 readers
993 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
This is how I see it too. It helps to develop the habit of having your own project or interests in mind which you can turn your mind towards whenever you sense yourself getting drawn into the drama. For example, I'm writing a novel; during breaks/pauses/time off, any attention that I give to the silly dramas and childish behavior at work takes energy and focus away from my novel. Whatever your hobbies or off-work interests are, nurture a habit of focusing on them at will. (that's not to say let people treat you badly, by the way. I just mean it's a way to tune out the noise).
I find that as I get older I give fewer fucks. I genuinely don't care what other people think of me - I don't need their approval. I have my own friends, family, and interests which are important to me, dickheads at work aren't.
Getting older and finding anxiety meds that actually worked for me here. It’s vastly improved my social life, especially around asking people out. There’s literally no downside or reason to be nervous about it.
I’m not a nurse. Nurses are a different breed.
But as for me and my answer, I don’t let other people decide my happiness. That’s really all it is. Someone wants to be a jerk to me, I let them, I smile, and I go about my day. Because they do the things they do because of who they are and I do what I do because of who I am. Sounds cliche AF but it works for me.
I can't control how my coworkers act. I can control how I act. I can't force my coworkers to adopt a sense of integrity, but I can hold fast to my own. In this way, I try to see those people less as terrible people and more like an immutable part of the job. For example, if you work in sanitation (e.g., picking up trash), it sucks when the weather is bad. But it's not aggravating--you can't control the weather, and you don't blame it for being bad. It's not a positive thing, but somehow it's less stressful. (that's not to say you should dehumanize others, just seeing them as something you can't control, like the weather).
That being said, it took me quite a few years in the industry to be able to think this way.
I'm queer. I have to be thick skinned during my downtime as well
My salary and savings increased to where I'll be ok financially if I get fired. I can't fully retire, but would have plenty of time to find another job. The knowledge I'm financially secure really helps when holding onto my internal "this person is an idiot, ignore them".
By not investing all of myself in my job and focusing more on the world outside
Experience and anti-depressants.
It’s an easy decision: learn how to manage your emotions or starve.
I used to be a hardworking and trustful employee. Then after paycuts and layoffs, i'm still hardworking, but trust only in being prepared to get a new job anytime
An unhealthy attitude for an unhealthy situation. You don't need thick skin if you dehumanize others. If you work harder, you are typically better at what you do than they are. They are less than you. Contemptable. Useless. Even if politics gives them a leg up, you are necessary, and they are disposable.
Granted this is a maladaptive sociopathic extreme.