this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 55 points 2 weeks ago (19 children)

People of the penile persuasion can sit while peeing. It is very easy to do.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (12 children)
[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 40 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Why do you have morning wood at a public toilet

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I cannot believe my morning erections are being judged by trash girlfriend.

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I am literally trash girlfriend and Ive never had morning wood at a public toilet

I feel like if I judge you its gotta be a good reason at that point

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

One day you will go to a public toilet to realize you have morning wood, then you will understand the struggle.

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Waking up in a public toilet does sound fun but since Ive taken estrogen I dont ger morning wood often

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

so you saying the real solution for peeing with morning wood is estrogen?

i would transition but there's no ikea near me for the mandatory Blahaj.

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You can order both the blahaj and the estrogen online

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I guess I'm trans now, hopefully there are no social/political consequences for being trans in this precise moment in history in the United States.

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm now on the side that everyone needs to sit down to pee. but as a compromise, everyone is allowed to go number 2 standing up

[–] SuDmit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Did you mean... You wood transition?

I guess wood is inescapable

[–] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If we could simply choose when we got erections, high school would have been much less awkward

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[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

how the fuck do you piss with wood anyways? just wait 5 minutes

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Proceeds to pee like the guy in Upload

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[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

brother if you got wood how tf are you peeing sitting down. That shit pointing up

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 10 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

If it's pointing up, how the fuck you hit the bowl standing up?

[–] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You step back real far and lean forward, stabilize with your hand on the tank. It might take a lil practice but it's light years better than trying to bend it down

[–] Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago

You can lean forward even better starting from a sitting position, chest down, hips up with slight rotation.

Leaning and hoping your hand doesn't go through the drywall. Luckily for me by the time I gained weight I didn't have the morning issues all the time.

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[–] spikespaz@programming.dev 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It comes with the risk of contamination or infection if you're well endowed.

[–] juliebean@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

do such people also have to poop while standing?

[–] Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago

No they just sling it round their neck for that.

[–] spikespaz@programming.dev 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Analyze the form factor of toilet. Is it one of those round ones that's sized for potty-training a child? Emergencies only. The bowl deep enough and water low enough? Push dick down with one hand, hope Poseidon doesn't kiss your willy. Stand up far to wipe, don't sit down too fast. Try not to piss under the seat.

Prefer to avoid public restrooms for shits, stand up to pee.

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[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not well endowed, at best I'm average... at best. But while I don't touch the water, I hit the front of the bowl. It's disgusting to feel the cold porcelain.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 weeks ago

Because splashback.

[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
  • Cleaner for your penis: sitting down eliminates the last drops remaining that are common when standing up
  • Cleaner for the bathroom: zero risk foreskin messing up your aim and having pee hit areas that don't get washed by the flush
  • Better urine elimination for men that have prostate issues or lower urinary tract symptoms. I don't, but it's a factor
  • More chill to sit down and check your phone while in the bathroom
[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wait, are you dragging your schlong against the inside of the toilet so it gets in contact with the water that runs down it?

[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 weeks ago

No, I'm talking about where the urine hits the toilet. If it hits a part that doesn't get washed by the flush, the urine dries out there and smells.

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