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this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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My mental health can’t take it anymore.
This may not apply to you, but I was once in a similar situation. One day I finally realized that a relationship shouldn't make me happy, it should make me happier.
I think that was quite a turning point and things got better from there for me. I started focusing on myself and finding things I enjoyed. Dates stopped becoming so daunting and I think people noticed that.
Anyway, good luck!
Resilience is sexy and perseverance is key. Go forth and flirt bro.
I’ve tried. On such occasions, I have either responded to signals that I misinterpreted, got ghosted, or never got a response at all.
You know that comic, “Know the Rules”, where the good-looking guy gets flirted back with while the nerd gets H.R. called on him? I’m not the good-looking guy. I have learned it’s better not to engage. I don’t even know what flirting is supposed to be and as a guy in his 30s it’s too late to start.
Perseverance leads to sorrow at best and a reputation of being a creep at worst. No means no; I will take them at their word. I am autistic. I’m not taking that chance.
"I'm sorry. I am autistic and might've misunderstood your signals. But would you possibly like to go out for a coffee some day?"
Then you've covered your ass. They know you're shit at signals and further know to not speak cryptic to you. They also know that you're interested and have a choice of just saying "No I'm sorry" without being cornered.
More often than not, I am wrong, and if I reply to everyone like that I will garner the reputation of being a girl-crazy freak/creep. I cannot afford to suffer that.