130
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
130 points (95.1% liked)
Asklemmy
43961 readers
1269 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Don't give up man_in_space. I had only dated 2 people by 31. I didn't meet my SO until I turned 34.
My mental health can’t take it anymore.
This may not apply to you, but I was once in a similar situation. One day I finally realized that a relationship shouldn't make me happy, it should make me happier.
I think that was quite a turning point and things got better from there for me. I started focusing on myself and finding things I enjoyed. Dates stopped becoming so daunting and I think people noticed that.
Anyway, good luck!
Resilience is sexy and perseverance is key. Go forth and flirt bro.
I’ve tried. On such occasions, I have either responded to signals that I misinterpreted, got ghosted, or never got a response at all.
You know that comic, “Know the Rules”, where the good-looking guy gets flirted back with while the nerd gets H.R. called on him? I’m not the good-looking guy. I have learned it’s better not to engage. I don’t even know what flirting is supposed to be and as a guy in his 30s it’s too late to start.
Perseverance leads to sorrow at best and a reputation of being a creep at worst. No means no; I will take them at their word. I am autistic. I’m not taking that chance.
"I'm sorry. I am autistic and might've misunderstood your signals. But would you possibly like to go out for a coffee some day?"
Then you've covered your ass. They know you're shit at signals and further know to not speak cryptic to you. They also know that you're interested and have a choice of just saying "No I'm sorry" without being cornered.
More often than not, I am wrong, and if I reply to everyone like that I will garner the reputation of being a girl-crazy freak/creep. I cannot afford to suffer that.