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this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
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Ask Lemmy
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Well there's your problem right there
How is that a bad thing? I thought clear communication was good.
Not always. In fact, I'd go so far as to say not even most of the time.
If someone NEEDS to hear something, clear communication is good (ie, "what you said felt very hurtful to me"). But if saying exactly how you feel couldn't bring about any benefit to the situation, it's usually best to keep your mouth shut (ie, "I think those sandwiches you love are disgusting"). You need to consider how other people will react to what you say before you say it.
There are also many cases where someone needs to hear something, but it may still make them feel bad. In that case you need to be cautious about how you phrase it. (ie, instead of saying "Your boyfriend is a piece of shit", you wait for an appropriate time and then say "sometimes it concerns me when I hear about how he treats you.")
I was thinking the same same thing about that guys comment. Reminds me of that one saying that goes something like 'if your day is full of assholes then it's probably you whose the asshole'.