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submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by j0hn@lemmy.world to c/world@lemmy.world
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[-] Phanlix@lemmy.world 32 points 9 months ago

Dude for real. A cheap bidet attachment for your toilet is the way to go.

First off, a bidet is better than toilet paper. I've been using it for years, and it cleans you 100%. I use basically 1 square of TP to dry myself after, and it's always completely clean. If you had a bird shit on your arm would you just wipe it off with paper and call it a day?

I laughed at all my friends who made fun of me for getting one on all my toilets after the great TP shortage of 2021, and a few of them ended up switching over.

For the apocalypse I have a camping toilet with a foot operated bidet. I mean I already use it when car camping, and I have a hand bidet for backpacking.

Solar panels are also in play. I also bought a freeze dryer and have about 5 deers worth of freeze dried jerky, and buy and freeze dry on sale fruit and veggies pretty regularly. I try to maintain around a 1-2 year supply of on hand food. A few steel plates, ar-15 pistol, and enough ammo to hold off the upper floor for quite a while too, but that's another conversation. I'm as ready to go as I can though, let's do this.

[-] i_am_not_a_robot@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 9 months ago

A cheap bidet attachment is only good in areas with warm water. The tap water here is ice cold in winter.

[-] cryostars@lemmyf.uk 16 points 9 months ago

I still blast icy cold water in the winter. My butthole isn't picky

[-] llamapocalypse@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago

Adds another dimension to your username for sure

[-] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 7 points 9 months ago

LMFAO fantastic

[-] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago

I’m thinking we set up our cooperative farm/compound in Anchorage. It’s gorgeous, and one of the places least likely to be affected by climate change disasters.

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 9 months ago

Canadians might still pose a problem, tho. Be sure to stock on bottle caps

[-] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

Not with my best in class armor, and arsenal of 500 mini nukes that I definitely did NOT acquire in the magic cheat room.

[-] Phanlix@lemmy.world -1 points 9 months ago

You have no idea the temptation I have to do just that. A satellite connection and a remote job for income and I'd be good. A family member is up in Alaska already, he's got a plot of land with a natural gas deposit that wasn't large enough or near enough to a populated area for the US gov to care about. So they've got it tapped and have a pretty ideal setup. They bought my grandfather's tractor a while ago an old restored 1912 John Deere.

I do enjoy the comforts of living near everything. I'm not sure I could give up having 100s of restaurants to choose from and a dozen or more grocery stores in a 10 mile radius. Or the specialty delis, high speed gigabit, and other comforts of civilization.

[-] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

Learn to cook and how to read books. I would envy that situation.

[-] Mbourgon@lemmy.world 0 points 9 months ago

Is there a trick I’m missing? Spray my butthole for 30 seconds and I need pretty much as much TP, actually more because the first batches get wet.

[-] Phanlix@lemmy.world -1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

If your stream is at the max setting that's comfortable and you move around a bit and make sure to get the whole area I've got nothing for you other than a recommendation to up the fiber in your diet.

I did get a nicer one that can just about peel the skin off on the highest setting, but even the lower quality one I have on the main bathroom downstairs gets me completely clean. I do tend to use it longer than 30 seconds, I'm pretty thorough about the rinse process.

this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
291 points (96.5% liked)

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