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[-] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 154 points 11 months ago

Haha, this proves that god is not a source of morality, and instead is a dictator. I've killed everybody I want to kill, which is nobody, even when god isn't there to stop me.

[-] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 50 points 11 months ago

God: Here's some plagues, floods, and famine. Now worship me.

Satan: Anyone interested in some sex, drugs, and rock and roll?

[-] Oderus@lemmy.world 26 points 11 months ago

Satan is also pro masturbation. He's got my vote.

[-] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Me too. Since I have a free hand to vote with.

[-] Guntrigger@feddit.ch 3 points 11 months ago

That's one way to spoil your ballot.

[-] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 11 months ago

Is that what hanging chads were about? I forget, I was a freshman in college for that election.

[-] SlopppyEngineer@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 11 months ago

Satan: we don't torture people with thorns and nails here. That's the other guy's department. Same for locusts, killing firstborn, you get the idea.

[-] holycrap@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

Job has entered the chat

[-] tengohipo@universeodon.com -2 points 11 months ago

@superduperenigma @SlopppyEngineer “I’m gonna drain the world dry
I'm going to lap up every drop of hope and love and feel it run down my chin
I’m going to turn men into beasts and ruin their women and spit poison into their children
I’m going to scorch the earth with proper Old Testament despair, and teach them that the Gods are there to be feared, and everything you love will die, and everything you’re scared of will come true.”

[-] SlopppyEngineer@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 11 months ago

Sounds like the USA elections

[-] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

Man. People around here hate Infant Annihilator!

[-] tengohipo@universeodon.com 2 points 11 months ago

@Burn_The_Right they speak the truth of the church

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Good Guy Satan wants to get educated and get an abortion that could save your life.

[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

I’ve killed everybody I’ve wanted to and had the capability of killing. Which is nobody.

[-] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 3 points 11 months ago

According to the Bible Satan gave us knowledge and God wanted us to remain stupid so he punished us. Fuck God, Hail Satan

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

Remember kids, God told the first lie, and the Serpent only ever told the truth!

this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
825 points (95.0% liked)

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