yet they also are often some of the biggest perpetrators of gendered identities.

You're reading too much into it. Society says that tea parties are feminine. Whether that's inherent to gender, or entirely a social imposition doesn't really matter. Trans people are NOT saying that if you like tea parties then you're a girl. But if you like tea parties, wished you could wear dresses, wanted sleepovers with the other girls instead of the boys, then that doesn't necessarily mean you're trans, but it might be something to consider.

Think about it this way. Trans people were denied the opportunity to participate in these stereotypically feminine things without feeling weird. And I don't mean weird because people tell you it's wrong to like that stuff. That's definitely part of it. But it also just feels like you're an alien. You may be participating in tea parties, and wearing dresses, etc. But even if that was totally normal, it would still feel wrong to be doing that as a boy.

I don't know if any of that made sense. But I think you see trans people wanting to be able to experience stereotypical femininity and misinterpret that as a desire to impose those stereotypes on others