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Tea parties are pretty awesome
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2024
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There's simply no logical answer that will apply to everyone. But no, transSex isn't a thing. You can't change your sex, because that's biological. Your gender is simply your presentation. It doesn't mean you necessarily have to fit into any specific box. It can definitely be confusing. But no one is talking about gender roles. It's about presentation. There is generally a feminine way to present and a masculine way to present. And a boy presenting feminine is just fundamentally different from a trans-fem person in ways that are difficult to classify. Because gender is a spectrum
https://old.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/yzg4b9/transgender_vs_transsexual/iwztr2a/ -- This person says transsex is a thing and it's distinct from transgender. :[
Why does nobody agree on this crap?! According to others, there IS a distinction between transgender and transsex. But you're telling me there isn't...
I swear to god I'm trying to understand... but as soon as I think I am starting to, someone bitches at me for being ignorant and apparently not understanding...
Because language isn't precise.
People are free to describe themselves how they want.
That's great, but understanding and trying to logically define and categorize are different things. What does it really matter to you whether someone prefers one term or another?
I think your problem might be what I posted. Understanding doesn't necessarily mean categorizing. If someone told you they were raped, would you need to ask them if there was penile and vaginal penetration? And if there wasn't, would you try to tell them that they weren't actually raped? Or what about if someone is blind, if they can see light and shadows but aren't 100% blind, would you try to tell them they weren't?
It's kind of the same idea here. There's no neat categorizations. Understanding is more like empathizing. And I guarantee no one will bitch if you do your best to just treat someone how they appear to present, and then adjust if they tell you you're wrong. If you see someone wearing a dress with long hair, it's a very good bet you can refer to them as "she". It doesn't mean you should catcall them, or ask them why they aren't at home in the kitchen, or assume any sexist gender roles. But you DO treat women different from men in society, even if it's ONLY by the pronouns you use. Simply do the same for someone who is attempting to present as feminine unless you're told otherwise. You might be wrong, but only the absolute biggest assholes in the world would be offended at your attempt.
But whether that person has decided to have surgery doesn't really matter. The same way it wouldn't matter if a cis woman had a this condition https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vaginal-agenesis/symptoms-causes/syc-20355737 and you tried to lawyer her saying she wasn't a woman.
You said:
But...it is. Language isn't precise, certainly, but it's not that "fuzzy" either. And it certainly exists to define things in order to better understand them. You can't just hand-wave away with an "it's complicated". Yes, some of the most complex topics in the world are complicated, but we've still managed to define them in clean, understandable ways.
I think this is the major hurdle for acceptance. If something can be understood, then it can be described. If it can be described, it can be taught. If it can be taught, it can be accepted. Approaching someone who would be willing to accept - without being able to give a real answer - relies on them having faith - much like religion - instead of understanding.
Sure, maybe I was being too strong there by saying it's not a thing. People do use it. But I would be cautious of using it yourself unless someone tells you specifically that they want to be referred that way.
It really doesn't. It relies on them not being an asshole. And not making generalizations. The intricacies don't matter on a day to day level of interacting with people who you're not intimately familiar with. Treat them as you would any other person of the gender that they're presenting as. That's literally all there is to it. Anything more is personal preference to the individual, just like it would be for any non trans person. Do you need to understand the intricacies of tomboy vs butch to interact with a woman wearing pants? No? Then you don't need the same level of detail for trans people either.