I grew up in a rural area so I was completely unaware of queer people until around 11, when I discovered trans porn on a shock site. I liked it, but its presence on a shock site made me feel like I should be ashamed and I repressed myself for years.

As a child I was always more interested in girl toys than boy toys. I also never really got along well with boys, and girls were not interested in playing with me since they assumed I just wanted to mess with them. Due to that I didn't really have many friends so my parents put me in boy scouts which did not help. I almost always just clung to my dad entire time instead of socializing like they wanted me to.

My parents also made me go to a catholic "faith formation" program once or twice a week for about 10 years which I absolutely hated. It was even sex separated to make it even worse. The last two years of that they were preparing us for confirmation so they wanted us to pick a saint's name. I had a really hard time picking a guy's name as I didn't like any of them, but I noticed that I did like some girl's names. I tried picking one of them but they really did not like that and they forced me to pick a guy's name. I started questioning them and pushing back against their shit which they also really did not like. I eventually stopped showing up and I never ended up getting confirmed.

For some reason, I never questioned why I liked the girl's names and disliked the guy's. At the time I was very depressed and was dealing with my family who were upset at me for being an atheist, so I guess that's why.

A year later I started antidepressants and for a few months I was actually happy until school started back up again. Suddenly I started to notice that I was envious of women for some reason and it was making me sad again. A month or two later I had a thought about being a girl that was very loud and stuck in my brain. I was very confused and afraid at first but I eventually started experimenting with my gender and about a month later I accepted myself as trans. I didn't really get to come out on my own to my family, because my mom got suspicious of my femininity and figured out on her own that I'm trans. She kind of accepted me at first but it took her about two years to fully come around to it.

It has now been about 4 and a half years since I accepted myself. I'm also now 8 months on estrogen and I'm the happiest I've ever been. :3