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this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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The true path of faking it till you make it isn’t to gain a significant other, but to become emotionally settled enough that you don’t even need one.
Which, when done in earnest, is ironically usually the best thing you can do to raise your chances of getting a partner.
But now I don't want a partner because they'll throw off the delicate level of being okay with myself that I've achieved.
Making you that much more attractive! It's a vicious cycle!
Turning down a potential partner is certainly known to make you 10x more desirable.
I stopped caring about romance a long time ago. Rich guys like Elon Musk get to fart around on billion dollar yatchs all day and I don't. Some people have the neccesary social intelligence to have romantic relationships. The idea that other people can have things that I can't isn't a difficult concept to grasp.
There's a pretty big difference between being a billionaire and having a relationship. At the end of the day pursuing or discovering interests with a social aspect will result in making friends and here and there you'll click with someone romantically. At the end of the day even if you're lacking socially, it's a learned skill and when there's shared interest people will look over some things while you learn. As long as you put in the work to learn, you'll improve.
There's a difference between being aromantic vs. being defeatist.
If romantic relationships don't bring you happiness, then you should explore other less formal, less dedicated forms of relationships. Sometimes it's just discovering the kind of person you are, instead of following societal expectations to find a monogamous life partner. Using that energy to build deeper friendships, or engage in casual sex could be the path to emotional fulfillment.
However, if you deeply want a romantic partner, and have resigned yourself to loneliness due to past failures, I encourage you not to give up. There's a future where it works out.