"I'm constantly haunting myself" is one description of ADHD

The ghost will eventually need some therapy

heard a door creaking last night & thought, "not my problem" lol

Heck in this market I’d fight the entire poltergeist house with a smile on my face. “Oh you like being spooky?! The power of AK-47 compels you!”

Reminds me of an old Pete Holmes sketch about how it's impossible to know if you're being haunted in New York.

Sounds of rattling

"There goes old man Rosenthal, out for one of his kinky midnight chain walks!"

Bunch of shit flies off the walls

"Oh! Puerto Rico won again."

Add: Cats.

Ghost downstairs frantically trying to get my attention: ruckus

Me Yelling authoritatively: What're y'all fucking with down there, better not make me get the squirt gun!

I've gotten so used to not trusting my brain for remembering things i just say "i think" in every statement i make no matter how certain i am of it.

I swear, i could be testifying in a court of law and i'd still be like:

"I swear i didn't kill him! I think..."

Lol, accurate. But that's so me. Anyone else found their phone in the freezer?