But I guess I should listen to the guy that analyzes people's mental health based on a four sentence internet post uninvited, right?

I think you don't really mean these words and you are subconsciously projecting the feelings you feel towards your mother onto an unknown person on the Internet.

Here's some cocain to calm your nerves.

Yoooo, I'm AuDHD and my father was a raging narcissist (possibly psychopath). Additionally, I'm currently recovering from CPTSD after a hell of a lot of recent emotional abuse. I get the intense emotions feeling invalidated brings up. They're legit and justified. As a survivor of that insane childhood and environment, it hurts to see others go through it because I know how bad it can be. Other people will never be able to understand it if they even believe you, so I'm sorry you went through that. You were just a kid, and no matter your reactions and behaviors at the time, it wasn't your fault. It couldn't have been your fault because it's all you knew.

Sometimes though, people are only asking a question to gather information and clarify, not build a case against you, imply that you're "wrong", and make you look like the "crazy one". I can't speak on their behalf, but I think @candyman337@sh.itjust.works was just asking to understand better and didn't mean anything against you by it. If that's the case, then while your reaction makes complete sense, you might have better outcomes if you were to practice assessing situations and responding in a way that helps you reach your goals. This would give you more control over your life while compassionately validating yourself. It would also help you avoid the trap that narcissists lay when they trigger you to act out to make you look unhinged. So either way, unless you're in immediate physical danger, staying calm and collected is the best move.

Also, my intention is merely to help you. I am not trying to insult you, imply fault, or make any judgement on your character. We all make mistakes sometimes (I still make them all the time), so it is completely understandable. All it means is that you're trying, and that's something to be proud of considering the history of what you've been through. I hope this comment helps you ❤️

It's just that some of us are autistic and have had wrong parenting, only due to various kinds of stigma our parents, on the contrary, only looked for confirmation that we (and them) are "normal". So please consider that.

my brother has the same thing, although the details are different.

my mother would even buy him alcohol. they are in a symbiotic emotional abuse situation.

she needs to keep him a child, and he wants to be safe and secure, but at the same time, it eats him up, since he also wants to be an independant man.

so he needs his mother, but hates her at the same time.

she needs someone to fuss about, since without it, she is nothing. she hated when the rest of us grew up.

she overstepped boundairies countless times. phoned with schools, workplaces. hospitals. boyfriends from my sisters, multiple times. to involvee herself, get a hold on us, mend a broken relationship for us, make deals with school, what have you.

I was 32, lying injured in bed, Nurse came in, phoning with mom. I grabbed the phone, screamed in red hot anger, and then forbid to staff and docs to communicate with her. they had to talk me down because i was shaking and could not calm down from the adrenalin rush.

she made such a fuzz about me when I was laying in intensive care, that I threw her out of my room. I was sedated and on a breathing aparatus, but she made me so mad because of her way of treating me like a hurt child.

she knew I hated that *hit. I told her a 1000 times. like my siblings also did.

she always ingores that i AM autistic, and tries to get feelings out of that I don't want to have.

yep trauma response. i hafe the same thing.

i love my mom, and I am deeply ashamed and sorry to have her blocked. but she harms me everytime I see her.

I wil miss her and regret it all when she dies.