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submitted 1 year ago by Kowowow@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I have some cool little key carabiners that I would have appreciated at any age

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[-] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 49 points 1 year ago

A piece of paper with instructions:

Use your tablet to take photos of your home. All rooms, and how and where you sleep. Make sure to remove the scuffed up plastic lens cover first.
At the next visit at the doctor, ask her to talk with her privately. Tell her about your living conditions, show her the photos as evidence. Don't be scared of her, she's actually a nice person. She'll try to help you.
Your mom will be mad, but most likely it's going to be worth it. Help your dad with the clean-up, I am pretty sure he's going to be the one doing that.
Oh, by the way, if you haven't yet done so, don't give your dad neigbor's WiFi password. He'll absolutely juice it by watching HD movies, and they'll get an "unexplainably" higher bill.
Also, don't get a dog. You won't have enough time for him in the future. Just get the fish.
For middle school, definitely don't listen to your dad about there being no "normal kids", go to the A grade. If your results are good enough, why not?
Lastly, here's a gift. Something you wanted so much you stole it from Tesco.

Provided with the note is something better than just the hand crank flashlight I stole. A hand crank radio + flashlight combo!

[-] GuyFi@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 1 year ago

That's kinda cute lol, hope your doing far better now

[-] kill_dash_nine@lemm.ee 41 points 1 year ago

Grays Sports Almanac, 1950-2000 edition

[-] blazeknave@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Make like a tree and get outta here!

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago
[-] potato_lemon@feddit.nl 29 points 1 year ago
[-] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Tinnitus… yeah.

[-] theGrey@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago

A CD-ROM filled with advice, requirements, financial planning (nothing outrageous), a plethora of medical advice in regards to depression and ADHD, and a few books in PDF form. Also, a laundry list of "no no's".

700mb can go a long way in this situation. I've thought about it before.

[-] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

It needs to be presented as an Encarta CD-ROM or I would not even look at it.

[-] syl@programming.dev 2 points 1 year ago

Oh. I would be interested in that! A post/comment from you with the advice, requirements, medical advice pertaining to depression and adhd and a "laundry list of no-nos". Please do say!

[-] theGrey@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I have not forgotten about your request. Give me time to collect my thoughts, make sure they're cogent, and generally applicable to those who may read it.

[-] Mechanismatic@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

A handheld time machine

[-] PsychedSy@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

A sampler of every psychedelic I can get my hands on with a note about what shit I'm going to be diagnosed with.

[-] SecretPancake@feddit.de 9 points 1 year ago

Can it be my past self from a few days ago? Because I wouldn't want to give my young self any lottery numbers. That Past-Me would become a lazy ass with no values who never learns anything or knows what life is like. Now-Me would appreciate it much more.

[-] jcg@halubilo.social 13 points 1 year ago

Future you is thinking the same thing and not giving you the numbers unfortunately

[-] Vlaxtocia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 year ago

A piece of paper with dates and lottery numbers

[-] gregorum@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

A note to my 16 y/o self saying, “buy as many shares in Apple as you can.” In 1995, they were under a dollar and I could have bought thousands. Ten years later, they’d be worth enough that I could live off the dividends for the rest of my life.

[-] MyDogLovesMe@sh.itjust.works -1 points 1 year ago

IIRC Apple doesn’t pay divs.

[-] mifan@feddit.dk 8 points 1 year ago

A rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle

[-] makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

To visit meathook, yes?

[-] _number8_@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

my anxiety meds. my life would've been far different and less miserable if i didn't feel like death over a 5th grade fractions quiz

[-] janus2@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 year ago

no-timeline-breaking mode: Buster Brown 100% cotton socks. they lack elastic and the mental relief I get from not having my ankle nerves ping my brain all day with "SLIGHT PRESSURE! HEY! HEY!!! JUST A REMINDER THAT YOU'RE WEARING SOOOOOOOCKS" is emancipating.

timeline breaking mode: detailed instructions on getting rich with crypto, majoring in computer science instead of biochem, and oh by the way you're clinically depressed, gay, and a communist just do your best to fast-track self acceptance GOOD LUCK LOL

[-] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Ever checked out diabetes socks? They're incredibly soft with no elastane as well. Seem to be a lot cheaper than the ones in your post.

[-] janus2@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 year ago

You know what I always saw them in "related products" banners and assumed they'd be the opposite of what I wanted (compression socks) but I'll have to give them a search. Cheaper would certainly be nicer haha

[-] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

No, people with diabetes can't wear compression socks. It might be worth checking out

[-] janus2@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 year ago

Seems you're right, I had it backwards

[-] Squids@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago

A cheap fountain pen like a Lamy safari. Maybe some brightly coloured ink too.

Growing up I loved pens and my dad had some vintage Watermans he used all the time which were unquestionably Cool Pens but also really "fancy" so I wasn't allowed to touch them, and we just didn't know that way cheaper and less fiddly fountain pens existed because all of his came from the op shop with ink from borders and not an actual pen store. 8 year old me would've been estatic that not only do easier to use cheaper options exist, they're bright yellow and also you can put any colour in them, not just boring black.

...I feel like everyone answering "Powerball numbers" or "apple stocks" is completely missing the spirit of the question

[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

Ya I was mainly thinking something stupid and impulsive not life changing

[-] rustyriffs@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

a chef's knife

[-] Extrasvhx9he@lemmy.today 5 points 1 year ago

A flash drive would have saved me some trouble

[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

A pair of boxing gloves with don't quit written on it.

[-] kandoh@reddthat.com 4 points 1 year ago

Salbutamol inhaler.

[-] SighBapanada@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago
[-] Boggy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I just found a remake of one I had as a kid but for the new versions coming out. Dranzer baybeeee

[-] ReveredOxygen@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago
[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago
[-] fratermus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago

what small physical gift would you give your past self?

Sumatriptan

[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

There are lot of wired medical messages in this

[-] BuzzCola@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I would give my teenage self cuticle nail clippers. I wasted so much time with normal nail clippers in my youth

[-] PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

Just a tiny usb thumb drive, with a few hundred thousand btc on it...

[-] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

"Here you go, little buddy, I know these are only worth like $2 now, but I paid $6,000,000,040 for these in my time. Hope you appreciate them"

this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2023
96 points (96.2% liked)

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