Some monkeys eat it from the side, with the peel. But that might be too manly for them lol

Right? Like there's one category of people that could make a choice. Pretty suspicious that this self-evident thing people can figure out about themselves is somehow a big gray area to that kind of conservative.

real men don’t have time to waste peeling bananas. you either smash it on your forehead and eat the nutrients as they slide down, or you eat the whole thing in one bite.

Cool so which end of the banana are we calling the bottom here? 🤔

Conservative masculinity:

I wish being gay was a choice. I'd choose to be bi if I could. Most of the queer people I know I like better than most of the straight people.

I want this sketch as a tiktok.

Maybe I can feed it into midjourney.

Must be a hard life being so staunchly anti-phallus

Protecting his heterosexuality at all costs. If a single phallus shaped food breaches his mouth he might lose control and turn gay.

Sounds like he has some feelings to explore.

In home ec class in middle school we watched a food network video about making stuffed hotdogs where they took a straw and cored a hotdog out and then filled it with white, melted cheese from a piping bag. They squeezed too hard and it jetted out the other end and the camera was perfectly positioned to catch the hotdog's thick ropes. Then they played it back in slo motion. The class was very amused.

Aww that's my favorite kind

With cheese wieners he has a point. Do like scalding your mouth with cheese hotter than the devils pecker?!

Cheddar brats are bomb though.

"hates"

At some point you'd hope they'd notice that these "workarounds" are more blatantly obvious than the thing they're embarrassed by.

Yeah, try be fucking efficient for once

For extra manliness use someone else's fingers.

Jeepers, I thought Id scrubbed that memory.

Is there a dollar tree variant of grindr that we could use to enhance these references further

It is, but it's also accusing the guys who sexualize eating bananas of being conservatives in general. Both interpretations are completely valid.

Go on...