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[-] matthewmercury@reddthat.com 92 points 1 year ago

Warp core engineers: we need redundancies and safeguards here, here, and here

Bridge console engineers: don’t forget the high-voltage rail and the concussive feedback blasters

Chair engineers: fuck seatbelts wooooo

[-] CeruleanRuin 49 points 1 year ago

Also: this console doesn't have enough rocks inside of it. And you call that a ceiling? I don't see a single loose girder in there!

[-] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 42 points 1 year ago
[-] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 19 points 1 year ago

Ah yes, the flamethrowers, a key component of good console design!

[-] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

"Commander, I did a level 5 scan of the bridge turbolift controls, and I noticed there's a couple of unnecessary and dangerous flamethrowers in there. So I thought..."

"Stop asking stupid questions. This is why you're still an Ensign, Harry."

[-] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Safety studies showed that seatbelts lead to a lot of injuries to helms staff being struck by the rocks they fill the LCARs control boards with.

If the inertial dampers fail, wouldn’t the seat belt just cut you in half anyway?

[-] SpacetimeMachine@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

If they were going fast enough for that to happen they would be launched toward the front of the ship anyway, and we don't see that happening.

It’s obvious that the inertial dampers never fail 100%

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

Bridge console engineers: .... oh wow look at this guys ... liquid napalm is a great electrical conductor ... we should use this amazing liquid to power these consoles

[-] CeruleanRuin 34 points 1 year ago

Circuit breakers don't work for plasma conduits.

And it is crucial because of the [insert technobabble] that the consoles are powered by plasma.

[-] nonailsleft@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago

Better contrast in a well lit environment

[-] obinice@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Circuit breakers don't work for plasma conduits.

Why not? Plasma moves like a fluid, and we are perfectly capable of shutting off or limiting the flow of a fluid in an emergency.

They wouldn't employ a technology across an entire fleet of starships, and practically every corner of civilisation on and off world, if they weren't able to manage it to am extremely high degree of safety.

Just look inside the armoured citadel on a battleship for examples of how every single thing no matter how small are designed to ensure the crew remain unharmed and the vessel functional.

Anyway, the real problem is that we fill our consoles with rocks.

[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

The real problem is they don't reinforce those damn plasma conduits enough. Your running plasma for your fucking power grid. Don't put it right behind a stupid panel or console. The terminal does not need that much electricity!

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

The Federation's original technical manual was written by Tim "The Toolman" Taylor. [Low grunting ensues]

[-] kandoh@reddthat.com 9 points 1 year ago
[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Allen Rickman really should have gotten a part in some Star Trek. They got the Klingon Doc Brown to give them his souped up Bird of Prey time machine. The least they could have done is offered Allen Rickman the part of Kahn in the reboot movies.

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Also, it's damn near criminal that Tim Allen's character didn't get the line "More Power" grunt grunt grunt.

[-] Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 28 points 1 year ago

Discovery had actual god damn flamethrowers in the bridge walls. Missing circuit breakers are nothing compared to that horror.

[-] PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Plasma circuits

[-] jasondj@ttrpg.network 1 points 1 year ago

Apollo 1. 100% oxygen atmosphere. What could possibly go wrong?

[-] r00ty@kbin.life 27 points 1 year ago

It would destroy all their terrible plots though.

Picard: "Shut down the holodeck!"
Data: "Holodeck controls are not responding"
Picard: "Pull the holodeck MCB!"
Data: "Holodeck systems shut down"

Credits.

[-] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Also I love how there were instances where power was of the essense, but the holodecks were explained to have their own, independent power supplies so it wasnt relevant to shut down.

I mean, given what a holodeck does, basically a sustained, massive, active energy to matter transport, one would think it would be useful to design the ship to tap into it in important instances. Holodecks are great, but when life support is failing and phasers are down to 13%, not super relevant.

Like wouldn't voyager prefer to use that energy to make food from their replicators?

[-] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Ooh! I have headcanon for this: An uncontrolled holodeck shutdown turns the holomatter into effectively high speed razor wire.

Which means in my headcanon, some holodeck engineer once met a very grim ending - so that Moriarty could later amount to any more than a simple reboot.

[-] andthenthreemore@startrek.website 20 points 1 year ago

Maybe if they didn't pack everything full of rocks...

But then there wouldn’t be any room for rocks

[-] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

You actually made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that.

[-] Posadas@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Exploding panels is actually how they stop overpopulation.

[-] omgarm@feddit.nl 5 points 1 year ago

Those damn fertile red shirts. They never stop multiplying.

[-] rovingnothing29@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

The warp core was originally a space babble replacement for a boiler on a steam ship, since it was based on WW2 navy ships. On old steam ships literally almost everything ran directly on auxiliary steam. As a result of probably not revisiting this since the 60s: everything in trek runs directly on warp core plasma.

[-] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 0 points 1 year ago

You mean WW 0? Even in WW1 ICE powered ships are commonplace.

this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2023
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