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submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by dgerard@awful.systems to c/sneerclub@awful.systems

In a letter to the judge, Ellison’s mother, professor Sara Fisher Ellison, wrote that Ellison has completed a romantic novella and is already at work on a follow-up. The finished novella is “set in Edwardian England and loosely based on [Ellison’s] sister Kate’s imagined amorous exploits, to Kate’s great delight,” her mother wrote.

https://fortune.com/2024/09/24/caroline-ellison-romance-novel-ftx-entencing/

oh yeah she got two years' jail for her part in stealing eleven fucking billion with a B dollars

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[-] BlueMonday1984@awful.systems 21 points 2 months ago

oh yeah she got two years’ jail for her part in stealing eleven fucking billion with a B dollars

A slap on the wrist compared to Sam Bankman-Fried's twenty-five years. Turns out working with the feds, admitting your guilt and knowing when to fold 'em are pretty important when karma finally catches up with you.

[-] BigMuffin69@awful.systems 15 points 2 months ago

word on the street it that SBF and Diddy are sharing a cell. I can't wait for the NFT album to drop

[-] skillissuer@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

SBF used to be in brooklyn, then was moved somewhere to california back in may, but it's written like he's back in brooklyn so maybe he was moved back or something https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/sean-diddy-combs-moved-section-new-york-city-jail-housing-sam-bankman-rcna172419

The unit is described as a barracks-style area currently housing 18 to 20 inmates who require special protection,

considering how small this unit is, maybe, maybe,

[-] dgerard@awful.systems 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Diddy and the Sam
they're Diddy and the Sam
one's a sex offender* and the other is a scam

* allegedly

[-] maol@awful.systems 7 points 2 months ago

This could result in the worst podcast of all time

[-] ahopefullycuterrobot@awful.systems 19 points 2 months ago

Will Ellison include her love for hierarchical, power-struggle Chinese harem dynamics in this novella or is she saving it for the sequel?

[-] bitofhope@awful.systems 13 points 2 months ago

new meta for cultivation novels: prison literature

[-] ahopefullycuterrobot@awful.systems 8 points 2 months ago

The rationalists - sometimes making me question my commitment to prison abolition. Actually, not frequently enough, considering how few are arrested.

[-] dgerard@awful.systems 4 points 2 months ago

Diddy and the Sam, it's Diddy and the Sam

[-] YourNetworkIsHaunted@awful.systems 7 points 2 months ago

What are we going to do today, Sam?

The same thing we do every day, Diddy. Try to convince them to let me play League of Legends again.

[-] froztbyte@awful.systems 6 points 2 months ago

the one thinks he's a genius, the other's less insane

[-] istewart@awful.systems 15 points 2 months ago

please be gentle with my child, they will soon have a presence on the discount paperback rack at the local grocery store

[-] swlabr@awful.systems 15 points 2 months ago

“completed” I guarantee it’s AI gen’ed. Note to self: use LLM to pump out a novel if/when I need to show I’m turning over a new leaf

[-] swlabr@awful.systems 19 points 2 months ago

Also: note that it is centred around her sister. Note to self: do not direct LLM to write erotica about a sibling, because that is not a normal thing to do for someone turning over a new leaf.

[-] Silic0n_Alph4@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

She wrote real-person erotic fanfic about her sister?

Straight to jail.

[-] dgerard@awful.systems 11 points 2 months ago

PROSECUTOR, PROBATION SERVICE: look, even we think time served for this one
(Judge reads Caroline's book)
JUDGE: Jail for Caroline! Jail for Caroline for seven hundred and thirty days!

[-] blakestacey@awful.systems 9 points 2 months ago

And via the links at the bottom of that page, we learn that drugs are going to need a major makeover to become cool again.

[-] gerikson@awful.systems 8 points 2 months ago
[-] dgerard@awful.systems 7 points 2 months ago
[-] Soyweiser@awful.systems 6 points 2 months ago

eleven fucking billion with a B dollars

Sure in digital monopoly money, but how much was that in real money put into the system?

[-] froztbyte@awful.systems 19 points 2 months ago

no this was the actual fiat value

the ftx fraud is fucking wild. everything about it is insane.

[-] Soyweiser@awful.systems 17 points 2 months ago

Right, and then she gets less time than people who shoplifted a few times.

[-] BlueMonday1984@awful.systems 19 points 2 months ago

And less time than her partner-in-crime, who went out of his way to show a complete lack of remorse and a strong willingness to reoffend, all whilst lying out his ass to basically everyone.

Honestly, SBF's antics probably helped make Ellison look like her role in this was much smaller than it actually was

[-] dgerard@awful.systems 4 points 2 months ago

Ryan Salame went down hard though, basically for being a huge asshole

his stuff in the Lewis book is amazing. Lewis seems actually sympathetic to Salame and he still sounds like the stupendous shithead he is out his own mouth

[-] sc_griffith@awful.systems 5 points 2 months ago

The finished novella is “set in Edwardian England and loosely based on [Ellison’s] sister Kate’s imagined amorous exploits, to Kate’s great delight,” her mother wrote.

this can't be what it sounds like. it just can't be

this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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