Just stop giving a fuck, there's a metric shitton of crazies doing janny work, it's unpaid and very unsatisfying. If they ban you, it's either their instance's loss or nobody's. The account costs nothing because it's worth next to nothing. I don't even need the links that I myself post and the others' I can see even if they ban my account. This is a shitpile, it being in the fediverse doesn't make it less of a shitpile.
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I personally try to avoid gendered language, but if I do use it, I tend to check their profile-bio :)
That's a pretty reasonable misunderstanding, I don't speak for anyone but myself but generally as long as there's no malice involved I'm not upset by an accidental misgendering.
I'm on jerboa too and didn't even know there were specific pronouns on accounts, I just chucked mine in my bio.
There aren't specific pronouns. One can just use the display name option to add pronouns
Using a client that shows the pronouns in hexbear is good and it sounds like you are doing that now.
As a follow up, I recommend approaching gender just as one would if they were bring mindful with new people. If you don't know pronouns, using they/them is a fine way to start referring to someone neutrally. You can also just use their name. It is considerate to then figure out what they prefer in a non-awkward way, either by how others talk or by just asking them nicely. Having pronouns displayed by names is just helpful for clarity and speeding things up online.
Uh, yes, but its a mutual misunderstanding from both sides...
Its an honest mistake and I think if you appealed the ban you'd have a good case for it, however as you now know that's the trans flag you can be more mindful in future :)
i would block all those people and move forward with my life
No, it shouldn't necessarily be an expectation to check. However, if you don't then I think it's a reasonable expectation to not gender someone one way or another unless you do know or are corrected, using they/them and other neutral ways of referring to someone like person etc is the best idea if you can't or don't feel up to checking.
I just checked the apps I use, and sync shows display names properly.
Generally I wouldn't take that kind of thing too seriously from hexbears they love conflict and actively seek it out
when unsure or lazy i use they/them