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[-] Aksamit@slrpnk.net 40 points 1 day ago

Oh hey, I have something for this.

From experience, 'making it somebody else's problem' by asking for help, rarely ends well or gets you the help you need. It just makes you an annoyance and look bad, and eventually people (healthcare workers included) decide you're malingering and/or attention seeking and start treating you even worse.

Isn't life fun.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 10 points 23 hours ago

I wish so many comments on this post didn't support what you're saying. And the guy in the comic isn't even asking for help, just showing that he's suffering.

[-] Aksamit@slrpnk.net 3 points 21 hours ago

I wish the world was a better place too. On the plus side, what with WW3 and climate collapse on the horizon, at least it will all be over soon.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

Yeah, but unless we're mercifully nuked into oblivion, it will be a very slow, painful demise.

[-] Aksamit@slrpnk.net 3 points 20 hours ago

Not that slow, we're going to be 40% over capacity on fresh water globally by 2030, and 90% of topsoil globally is at risk of depletion by 2050. And what with how hot it's getting, it's likely a blue ocean event will trigger the clathrate gun to go off within the next decade, if not sooner.

Google those at your own peril.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

The comic character is doing it "right" by not making it the other guy's problem.

Part of the problem is that there's a gray area on this discussion and easy to find yourself on either side.

On the one side, "my hand has been crushed and I need immediate medical attention" is something other people need to respect. And "I can't help you with both hands because one of them is crushed" is something other people need to respect. And "my chronic hand pain makes me grumpy", too.

On the other, if you're not talking to a doctor or asking for help getting to a doctor, starting every conversation with "My hand hurts" begs the question "what do you want me to do about it?" And if every request to socialize is met with "Can't do anything hand hurts", eventually you stop getting calls.

So what's the fair middle ground? Hard to say and varies heavily by audience. But people do love to paint on the extreme ends without addressing the mushy middle.

[-] towerful@programming.dev 3 points 19 hours ago

Yeh, mental health issues are just health issues.
It took me a while to realise that. A broken brain (whether Alzheimer's, chronic depression or whatever) is just like a broken leg (or broken arm, or chronic back pain or whatever).

You don't ask someone with a broken leg or chronic back pain to help you move house.
I guess it's easier to tell when someone has a physical injury, which probably removes some of the stigma around talking about it.

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[-] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

Long story about healthcare workers.

I went to the ER for chest pains this summer. EKG was good, did a scan, and didn't see any blockages. They determined it was probably heart burn.

I started taking prevacid and that helped but I still wasn't feeling great. Doc said to try the three main over the counter heart burn drugs to see what worked. So I tried nexium next.

By the time I finished that bottle I was feeling very nauseous, dizzy and would get sharp quick headaches that lasted a few seconds. On top of that still feeling pain in my left shoulder/ chest area. It got to the point that one day at work I just felt so bad I had to go back to the ER.

Another round of scans and tests and they still said the old ticker looked good but did give me an IV and anti nausea that helped. The ER doc this time asked if I had anxiety and I said sure because at that moment I was very worried about my health.

They discharged me and I went home for the day and set up some doctors appointments. I went to my doc and talked about everything going on and she looked at the test results. Then she says the ER doc says you have anxiety and gives me a bunch of pamphlets about mental health and suggests talk therapy.

I've got nothing against therapy and could probably use some, but I don't think it's the cause of my chest problems. I was perfectly fine before the first ER visit. Anyways I fired her and went looking for a new doctor.

I found one and set up a physical. We did all the basics and he went over all my tests results. I felt like I was being listened to and we were getting somewhere.

His big suggestion was to lose weight... Again not a bad idea but maybe not the core of the problem. He thought that or nerve pain.

Well losing weight seems more appropriate than talk therapy so I set out doing that for a few months. I'm down about 15 lbs, got another 30 to go. Hasn't really helped, but I am looking better.

In the mean time I'm still taking prevacid because that helped and I didn't have any side effects. Except one time I bought a bottle of Prilosec instead by accident. I got about halfway through and started feeling dizzy, and nauseous again, so I cut that out and went back to prevacid.

I looked it up and turns out Prilosec and Nexium are closely related and do have those side effects. Nexium just was worse for me. Prevacid is a completely unrelated drug and does not cause me issues. So second ER was probably all from the Nexium and no one caught that despite me informing them of what meds I was taking.

We also scheduled a colonoscopy and endoscopy to look for a root cause of heart burn issues but found none. The new doc who told me to lose weight said let's try a nerve blocker so I said okay. Turns out it's also an anti anxiety med as well... so I think that suggestion was based off ER doc saying I'm anxious.

I decided to take it anyway even though I don't think I need anti anxiety meds. It's been two weeks and shoulder pain is pretty much gone which is great but I'm having way too many side effects from this drug. Wake up in sweats, always thirsty, low libido etc.

I go back next week to talk to doc about it see if there's something else to try since this path seems to be working.

[-] Aksamit@slrpnk.net 2 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

Getting diagnosed with adhd and autism as an afab took me till my late 20's and early 30's respectively, despite having been in therapy from childhood and then seeking MH help regularly throughout my teens and early 20's for audhd related difficulties.

Every single one of my symptoms and problems were easily explained by my having undiagnosed audhd, or very convolutedly (and often times offensively) attributed to a myriad of other MH conditions. Guess what ended up happening? And guess how much the private healthcare cost to sort it all out?

Solidarity yo. I hope you find out what is ailing you before it becomes too damaging!

[-] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 10 points 21 hours ago

I think must of us are missing the fact that the second to last panel his 'smile' is a grimace because he has severed the afflicted hand.

I'll let you discuss what is meant by this.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 7 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

I actually never interpreted it that way - I though it was just showing it getting worse - but that's a good point and you may be right. It could be showing that he "fixed" the problem by pretending it doesn't exist as much as he can around others, since none of them take it seriously anyway. Of course, that won't help anything and will likely make it worse.

Goddamn, way to make me flashback.

There was a point in my life where I was facing homelessness, was constantly job searching but hearing nothing back, and had to count coins to make sure I could afford to eat each day. Not only that, but the closest family member, who had invited me to stay with them if things went tits up, had just died two days before in a sudden and tragic way.

And my then-bf dragged me to a bar, where he and all his friends told me to “just let it go” and “loosen up” as if the basement rock of my world hadn’t just eroded out from under me. I sure as shit couldn’t afford bar prices, and not a single one of the group offered to get me anything, leaving me stone sober while they all got shitfaced. I ended up crying alone in the bathroom for an hour, and when I came back out, “bf” was getting a fucking lap dance from his friend’s fiancee.

That wasn’t even the worst part of the night. It definitely got darker before the light returned.

I’m okay now, over a decade later, in an infinitely-better place with supportive friends and partners. But man, what a journey.

[-] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Dude should maybe consider seeing a doctor about his "hand".

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago

This is about others not taking depression seriously. The difficulty in getting treatment is another matter.

[-] rumba@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

Thats why they put hand in quotes.... it was sarcasm implying that the character needs to see a doctor about his depression

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Yes, I know. As I said, not the point of the comic.

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[-] towerful@programming.dev 2 points 18 hours ago

This would be the correct response when you met them.
Which shows you have the right idea.

Instead of this comment, which is victim blaming.
You are presenting yourself as the same as all the other characters in the comic.

The correct response would be "none of the other characters told them to get help, or tried to help them".

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"I can't, because of my hand. My hand hurts so much. Life sucks because of this hand."

"You should go to a doctor to show your hand"

"No! It won't help anything! And it costs money. And I don't know how to or want to anyway."

I've seen that too, where the person doesn't want to actually even try to help themselves.

[-] scratchee@feddit.uk 22 points 1 day ago

Which of course is a symptom.

“My leg is broken” “Then walk to the hospital, duh” “I can’t, my leg is broken” “Why are you choosing to live in pain?!”

[-] uid0gid0@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Then you carry them to the hospital and they don't want to get treatment but they sure as hell want you to keep carrying them around. Been in that situation and it really sucks.

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[-] Aksamit@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 day ago

And when the doctor decides you're an attention seeking malingerer and refuses to help, what then?

[-] towerful@programming.dev 1 points 18 hours ago

Don't stop until you get help.
I'm lucky to have a colleague who identified I was depressed, and had gone through a similar scenario.
Don't stop until you feel you've been heard, until you've been listened to, until you agree with the doctor.
Don't fucking stop

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[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Notice how the "friends" are completely dismissive of the hand? If they actually thought it was cause for concern, that would be an improvement.

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[-] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 97 points 1 day ago

It took almost 2 fucking years after my first initial appointment to get properly medicated.

I'd literally kill myself if I was forced to do it all again.

You "just go see a doctor"–folk have no idea how fucking difficult it is to 1). actually be seen by a competent doctor, 2). be taken seriously, 3). and actually receive treatment for mental health stuff.

That's not even including the whole "getting out of a shit enough headspace to actually do all that stuff in the first place."

Unmedicated me felt like wading through hell.

Be kind to those with different chemistry. Shit sucks.

[-] towerful@programming.dev 2 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

My first GP phonecall to get an in-person appointment resulted in a tiny piece of paper with suicide/help hotlines, and an ADHD form.
I was worried about ADHD and Bipolar. I wasn't myself. At all. It got pretty bad.

After an in person appointment and me failing to fill in my form (edit: or not filling it in correctly, I guess?), a referral to a psychiatrist wasn't justified and I heard no more.

I eventually seeked private healthcare for this.
And proper private healthcare, not that fucking "better health" or whatever that YouTube ad is. From actual doctors from an actual clinic.
After a 1 hour consultation and £300, I felt listened to.
The psychiatrist identified both ADHD and Bipolar traits, but said they were not significant enough compared to the depression. Treat the depression first, then circle back to the other possible issues.

6 months on SNRIs, and I can't believe the difference.
I don't feel like I'm struggling with memory loss. The traits I thought could be ADHD (hyperfocus sessions and yet easily distracted - exclusively) became manageable. The every day tasks suddenly were accomplishable. I haven't tracked my mood very closely, but I'm either on a 2 month hypomania streak or this is actually just what I'm normally like and I can't remember what feeling normal actually is. So maybe any bipolar I do have isn't impacting my life so much.

It took 6 months between the GP disappointment and seeking private care for it.
It's the best fucking £300 I've ever spent.
The reason I got there, as opposed to accepting the GPs diagnosis, was a colleague talked about their experience. They talked about their depression, a failed visit to a GP, seeking a 2nd opinion, getting meds, and turning their life around.
They said "don't stop until you feel heard. Don't stop until you agree with the doctor".

[-] TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

I'm very sorry for you.
FWIW, I had the totally opposite experience. Went to the nearest GP with no appointment, rattled down a long list of physical symptoms, then a long list of things that currently distress me. You could almost hear it click when they connected the dots. Got the good stuff immediately and it changed everything. Maybe it's something to do with socialized medicine (I live in Europe), IDK.

[-] Shou@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

This^

My GP called to mock and say she hadn't called the crisis help for an appointment yet. Two weeks she let fly by. No doubt more if it wasn't for a family member calling her.

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[-] Zink@programming.dev 31 points 1 day ago

This comic hits the nail on the head for me. When speaking with doctors and therapists, I would describe the depression as non-physical mental pain. Like I don’t feel sad and I don’t feel like I am a bad person, but it’s like my mind hurts and I still feel like shit.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 176 points 1 day ago

I get the metaphor this is making, but I can't help but view this as everyone being passive aggressive because the character refuses to actually see a doctor about their hand lol.

[-] Davel23@fedia.io 117 points 1 day ago

Finding a doctor, making an appointment, keeping that appointment, trying who knows how many medications until you find one that helps, etc. is not the easiest thing in the world when you have trouble just getting out of bed in the morning.

[-] solomon42069@lemmy.world 69 points 1 day ago

What about affording any of that? OR a home... or getting time off work for the 100th time this year.

Life is often unkind to those who need a bit of kindness the most.

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this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
964 points (96.4% liked)

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