A bidet.

does stealing it count? because that would be a boxed copy of redhat linux from best buy in the late 90s/early 2000s. yes, i found a way to steal linux

Building and running my own server for self hosting multiple tools for my home.

• Bitwarden Password manager, now sharing logins/passwords for stuff my fiance and I both use is easy, and every single website we use has its own unique randomly generated password so when one site gets breached, our logins aren't compromised anywhere else

• Plex, it's like your own self hosted Netflix. My file copies of any movies/TV shows go on here and it parses em all, keeps it all grouped together, streams in 4k.

• Shinobi, for my security cameras. Self hosted free CRTV application, works with any open spec cameras. Has movement detection and tonnes of other open source options for plug-ins.

• Deluge, handy UI for downloading torrents onto my server. Conviently added presets to it that let me download to the very folders Plex scans... cough cough.

• Kavita, self hosted server for books/pdfs. Some e-readers can even connect to it. A couple popular manga reading apps also work with it. Can also just use its own browser web interface as an e-reader, it has multiple options for styles (infinite scroll, page swiping, left/right click, and even supports right to left mode for manga!)

• Nextcloud, pictures/document storage. Sort of like a selfhosted filesshare/file backup. Has a mobile app that can automatically backup every picture/video you take on your phone!

• Gogs, open source super lightweight git repo. Has only the bare minimum of features, basic web hook, authorization, permissions, simple web ui to edit. It does the job I need it to and that's good enough.

• OpenVPN, self hosted VPN so I can securely access all the above stuff without exposing it to the internet.

• Also I host my own websites on it, publicly exposed. Blog, a writing project, nothing terribly fancy.

Eventually I plan to add some more stuff to it. Migrate my smart home dependencies over to Z wave and install Home Assistant, so I don't have to rely on sending my info to google/amazon/etc to do basic smart home stuff.

A Kobo e-reader. I now read much more than before because of the convenience, and I also became a book pirate. It has paid itself multiple times on the money I've saved in physical books.

A dog.

Have had a dog most of my life. Hard to imagine living without one. They're better than people, fantastic companions, and the entire relationship is based on each other trying to make each other happy.

I love my airfryer and may upgrade it to a larger one. I've started making my own food again instead of eating fast food every day (depression sucks).

Glasses.

Now I'm addicted.

Bidet. Amazing for a North American, I know RoW has had them for eons. You are so clean that a couple of squares of tp to dry off and you are golden. No more endless wiping.

Bicycle. No gas expenses, no tabs, no loan, free parking. I understand how it works and can mostly fix it myself for very little money. I can take quiet side streets and arrive in a much better mood, plus my fat lazy ass gets some exercise.

Noise cancelling earphones.

Oh man. Just not having to listen to my dishwasher, clothes machines or vacuum cleaner run their mouths while they're in service is live improvening.

Smart vacuum cleaner. You pay once for not needing to vacuum your house anymore - best deal ever.

In the early 2000's, I bought a 1986 Honda XL250R. Just an old dirt bike.

The motorcyckle shop was across the road from the pawn shop I was originally going to buy a gun from, for the express purpose of taking my own life, for reasons that made sense at the time.

Since I bought that bike, I've made friends, learned a lot of new skills, and I met the best person in existence, who I am now married to. I passed on a final exit, and ended up with a pretty great life.

First place, aSmartwatch.

I all but stopped checking every fcking notification, my life has become peacefull and tranquil.

Second place, my 4yo daughter. Achieved the exact opposite.

A house. My mortgage is cheaper than rent, and now I get to actually address annoyances with my living conditions.

It's almost 100 years old, and a bit of an fixer upper, but the important stuff is solid. Last summer I invested in proper drainage around the foundation so that I can start making the basement livable. This year I invested in a proper bathroom. Next year it's a new kitchen. And if time allows I'll start rebuilding the basement mainly for one extra bed room and an office.

Synology NAS (basically a hard drive always connected to the home network and internet) - has been amazing for auto-backing-up photos from the family phones and for running Plex run my own personal streaming service for the whole family around the world. Has been great for file transfer too. I can easily move files between my phone, PC, Steam Deck, etc and all the USB memory sticks I had have been sitting in a drawer ever since.

Exercise compression thermals - wear these is super comfortable and really warm. I wear them constantly at home and can have the heating off almost all winter (UK). Saves tons of energy and money.

Electric blanket - another great low energy purchase for relaxing under when watching TV or warming up the bed before sleeping. Gets super hot while hardly using any energy at all.

Split unit air con installation - this was expensive and I thought it would be unnecessary in the UK, but it seems to be used more and more every summer as we get more heatwaves and summers are becoming unbearable.

Safety razors - I have really thick facial hair and the multi-blade razors from big name brands would dull really quickly and cause tons of shaving rash. These razors are sharper, last longer, are recyclable and much better for my skin.

Liquid ink refillable rollerball pens - I tried fountain pens after seeing the online communities that are crazy about them, and really didn't like them. I found rollerball pens I like that take fountain pen ink and have been super happy with them. I write a lot at work and this has gotten rid of the plastic waste of throwing away used disposable ballpoint refills every couple of weeks.

Hitbox controller - I've been playing Street Fighter 6 since release and I made a leverless controller box myself and I've loved using it to play SF6. Managed to make it for one third the price of what these things sell for and completely customised it.

Chemotherapy absolutely changed my life, does that count?

An E-reader. There's no more space in my house for book shelves. I've a ton of books stored inappropriately in a bunch of cabinets and on top of furniture, that I hope to find new homes for before irreparable damage is done to their spine.

Having an e-reader also helped me in the gym. Instead of doomscrolling on lemmy or tiktok, I read between sets. Helped me regain my reading habit and kick my social media habit. Also, helped my social anxiety of having to rest longer than half a minute when other people might want to use the iron I'm using.

A dishwasher... For a family, it saves a huge amount of time and water.

Sunglasses and UV-blocking clothes.

With the first I discovered that I have a high sensitivity to light, now I can see much more during the day.

And the second is very useful, protecting me from sun without the need to worry about sunscreen (except for the face)

I have always hated bath mats. Especially being in a fairly large family, by early afternoon it seems like the bath mat is always saturated and useless; slipping around the floor if you're trying to use it to dry your feet, or soaking your socks if you happen to step on it in the course of other bathroom business.

I recently got a bath stone made of diatomaceous earth and it has erased all of the annoyance. It pulls the water right off you so I always feel safe stepping onto my tile floor after just a few steps on the bath stone, and it dries freakishly fast, like basically in front of your eyes.

I've only had it a month so I don't know how durable it is over the long term, but so far it has been $40 well spent.

As someone with waxy ears, an ear pick with a wifi camera built in. Would get blockages, cotton buds just pushed it back, olive oil or peroxide would get air locked. The webcam ear pick was super cheap and makes it easy to scoop out any lumps of wax.

TOP OF THE LIST: bidet (duh),

electric water kettle (fuck gas stoves and also faster),

$3 metal tongue scrapper (clean ass mouth),

noise cancelling headphones (it's amazing not going back),

slow cooker (it's impressive how lazy i am. spend an hour cruising slow cooking recipes on reddit/chaptgpt, pick out 10+, set for life),

piratebay

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

50+ pack of small white rags and using those instead of paper towels. simple washer after all used to reuse

cheap air purifier in room @ night, clean air and dual white noise maker.

small $10 desk usb fan. fuck running the A/C just turn this guy on.

electric space heater. depending on your climate, you don't need central gas heat just get space heater and shut the door to the room you're in.

In last 5 years for me:

• a pair of decent (second hand) speakers
• a cheap (blue switches ftw) mechanical keyboard
• a standing desk
• an ergonomic chair

(sorry it's not single item...)

Self hosting. I’m still a beginner on this but Nextcloud and plex made me way richer than before both economically and mentally

An electrical sit/stand desk

A ceramic non stick pan.

Nothing ever burns and cleaning even when frying something with cheese in there is just a scoop of hot water and ten seconds with the soft side of a kitchen sponge.

A dildo. Get to know yourself and what you like a little and it's legitimately brain melting. You don't have to be gay to enjoy em, I'm glad I gave butt stuffing a try.

Just make sure whatever you get is actually body safe. Silicone is generally the only good soft body safe material, look for medical grade or platinum cure.

My fileserver. I have more media than I could ever need and plenty of room for more.

Anything that takes away shitty chores. People take washing machines for granted these days, but a decent dishwasher is a godsend. Modern ones don't need anything more than a basic scrape of the dishes as "prep" and loading it before bed to then wake up to a load of sparkling clean dishes is amazing.

In a similar vein we've just got a robot vacuum cleaner that we've set to run every night. The amount of dog fur in its bin every morning is eye opening, and other than for the stairs there's almost no need to do vacuuming ourselves now.

Bidet, heated mattress pad, shoehorn.

CPAP.

Wireless JBL earbuds. I mainly use them while doing housework or listening to something in a way that won't bother other folks in the house.