this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Banana@feddit.it to c/memes@lemmy.ml
 

Did you know that smart chastity belts have been hacked in the past?

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[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 108 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I’m less worried about hackers than having major corporations have unabated access to stream whatever they want to your brain.

Imagine to have to watch ads to access your brain music stream or ads while dreaming like Futurama predicted.

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 46 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Are you tired of dreaming about advertisements? Then get the new AdBlockPillow! For just 99.99 a month it blocks all incoming Advertisements while you sleep!

[–] glad_cat@lemmy.sdf.org 50 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And then an army of shills will tell you that blocking ads in dreams is theft.

[–] Rubanski@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Oh I can already see them: "businesses need to make money! Free market will regulate everything so it will be very fair!" I wonder if there is a corpo shill bullshit generator out there

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

Not specialised in shilling, but there's a corporate speech bullshit generator

[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

GoogleTeslaMetaCokacolaSoft would try to roll out an ad blocker blocker and fry a few dozen brains in a third world country before letting you sleep ad free.

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[–] Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (4 children)

People will never want chips installed in their brain. There's just too many scifi movies showing why that's a bad idea and the tech industry keeps completely ignoring the message and try to make it into a reality.

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[–] TheCheddarCheese@lemmy.world 72 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

with what this man did to twitter, i aint allowing him anywhere near my brain

[–] Happenchance@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I was extremely excited about Neuralink, and the premise is so fascinating, but this clown is out to fucking ruin it for everyone.

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[–] terry_tibbs@lemmy.ml 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You mean you guys don't constantly have music playing in your head anyway?

[–] Banana@feddit.it 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] KrankyKong@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

A continuous never-ending note could be considered music if you wanted it to.

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[–] schema@lemmy.world 32 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I wouldn't be surprised if the same people who are now excited about this chip are the same people who believe in conspiracy theories like the government controlling their brains and chips in vaccines.

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[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 24 points 2 years ago (4 children)
[–] Jesus_666@feddit.de 8 points 2 years ago

People will put IoT into everything, no exceptions. Did you really think it would stop at thermostats and surveillance cameras?

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[–] spudwart@spudwart.com 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You know those hackers aren't ever gonna give you up.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago

Never gonna let you down either

[–] sturmblast@lemmy.world 23 points 2 years ago (2 children)

you can already stream music to your brain through your fucking ears

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[–] r00ty@kbin.life 22 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I'm not even worried about hacking. I'd be more concerned about the "legitimate" mandatory advertising direct to your brain!

[–] Heavybell@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

In accordance with our Acceptable User Policy, please wait while your opinions of our brand affiliates are adjusted…

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 6 points 2 years ago

You can do that? I mean, actually yeah I do feel like a large big mac meal right now.

[–] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 9 points 2 years ago

I'd be hacking the fucker myself to side load an ad blocker.

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[–] the_q@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (3 children)

This makes no sense. Isn't hearing music exactly the same thing? Also, your brain can't hear music. This is just stupid. Plus this psychopath destroyed numerous test animals in order for them to be able to do this.

[–] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 14 points 2 years ago

The one that made me sad was the monkey that just sat with it's face pressed into the floor because the chip had made its brain infected and it didn't know how to deal with the pain, poor bastard.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 years ago

Yes, and hackers have been rick rolling people over the internet for a while now.

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.de 7 points 2 years ago

It is possible by stimulating your "hearing nerv" in the same way happening when you actually hear something.

[–] Meuzzin@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

RING RING RING RING RING RING BANANA-PHONE!

[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 2 years ago

It's cellular. Modular. Implanted-in-your-brain-odular!

[–] MarcRnt@feddit.de 20 points 2 years ago

I guess your brain implant will probably kill you before the end of your favourite playlist. Just like all those test animals.

[–] digger@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Lightspeed fits today's active lifestyle. Whether you're on the job ... or having fun. Lightspeed briefs, style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.

[–] benignintervention@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Objects in mirror less attractive than they appear.

[–] black_mouflon@beehaw.org 19 points 2 years ago

Not gonna happen. But if it does it will probably be like Youtube and Spotify so prepare to hear ads in your brain if you don't have the premium subscription.

[–] HardlightCereal@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Elon Musk directly into your brain in 2030:

Hello all my neuralink users, I'd like to tell you all about why trans people are evil for making my wife leave me and my daughter hate billionaires. But first, a word from our sponsor, Raid Shadow Legends.

[–] patomaloqueiro@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Ads straight to your mind every 1 minute

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[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 years ago

There will be no escape

[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 years ago

Your audio subscription expired. Please renew it to restore your ability to hear.

[–] archonet@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Truthfully I can't wait for Ghost in the Shell to become reality, but I sure as shit don't want Musk and his bullshit to have any part in it.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 years ago

He's exactly the kind of disconnected super rich asshole to show up in a lot of cyberpunk.

[–] CrowAirbrush@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The what now, chastity belts?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Did those smart chastity belts come with a holster for a Blueberry?

[–] mycatiskai@lemmy.one 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

If a smart chastity belt loses its wifi connection will it vibrates until it gets its connection back?

Just wondering if I should design a crotchless faraday cage for women with controlling fathers so they can still get their orgasms.

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[–] The_Ferry@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

I read your words wrong so I thought you said that people had hacked smart chastity belts into the past, which is quite impressive

As opposed to Spotify already streaming music into my brain?

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