this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2025

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon starts talking to a girl (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 days ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works 52 points 2 days ago (10 children)

What the fuck is “low value men”? No one else can decide your value.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 27 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I've learned from my female friends that the bar for men is so fucking low. Basically shower regularly, listen to what other people say, know how to keep your home relatively clean and don't be a creep and you're immediately in the top 30%

[+] xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com -6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

you forgot the financial part

[–] mholiv@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I don’t think they did. The bar is pretty low and still applies if you’re poor or rich.

No need to bring incell culture here.

[–] xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com -2 points 1 day ago

i’m bringing incel culture here? did you notice notice this is a post about “incel culture” from and incel?
besides, the notion that a financially unstable man has a hard time dating is not an incel concept… it’s just straight up reality.
i’ve even seen good reasoning regarding a woman’s risk of pregnancy vs a man’s risk….

i could go on, but it’s a straight up fact that: no money -> no honey

and i do not blame women, i blame capitalism and patriarchy.

incidentally i actually met their hero, Elliot Rogers… aka, the incel school shooter….
he was very rich, his dad directed Hunger Games… aside from being a psychopathic piece of shit, incel has nothing to do with money, it’s about how they think they can’t get laid with their idolized tall blond woman without being a chad or whatever….

tl;dr the bar is low but definitely includes financial stability… not wealth.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

6 figures, 6 feet, 6 inches is on a lot of people's profiles.

If you were rich it would probably more than double the number of people who are interested in you.

Part of why there are so many idiots self assigning as incels is because we refuse to agree with them when it's fair.

This shit culture perpetuates itself all over the gender spectrum.

[–] lowered_lifted@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 hours ago

six inches is like an inch above the US average and six feet two inches above the average US male height, why aim so low

[–] papertowels@mander.xyz 8 points 1 day ago

Great, that lets you know who to avoid.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've had sex with 50+ women in life, many way above my "value", and most from when I was broke as fuck. Anyone that thinks it takes money to get laid is making excuses for something. And BTW, I'm 5'8" and 140lbs., a "manlet" I think I'm called?

As it turns out, I'm horny and a genuine human being. Women respond to that. (I also give good head. Write that down.)

[–] xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com -1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

lol, yeah ok romeo.
i don’t think “it takes money to get ‘laid’”.
i’ve never heard the term “manlet” before.
also, i give better head than you.
….
also bragging about 50+ women is pretty gross… and misogynistic…
women aren’t just expensive jizz rags.

[–] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

They confided in each other that they both have low self esteem

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

It's the attempt to understand dating through tech bro economics.

The look at supply/demand (swipes), and decide their value based on the demand of the "market" is.

It's deranged

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I dunno. my broke ass probably lol

[–] Brutticus@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

lol so basically the premise of incelibacy is that there is a hierarchy of men (hence all the "alpha" or "beta" shit".) What you are was given out at birth (so yay, biological essentialism). they believe some traits highly valued by women (height, beauty, etc) and these were handed out at birth. If you are short, or slight, or bulky, they believe that no one can find you attractive (the black pill), no matter what other traits you cultivate. They are convinced no one might have any other taste, they have to look like Chris Hemsworth. So imagine a scale with Chris Hemsworth at the top, and everyone who doesn't look like that having "low value."

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 33 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I agree, but there's is also the reallity that if you have no hobbies and no passions other than gooning you're going to come off as pretty uninteresting and boring to most people. Some would call that being low-value

[+] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee -12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Nah low value isn't about hobbies and stuff. That's teenager stuff.

It's quite easy.. be dependable, be able to communicate, be good looking, charisma, ...

Girls don't give a shit about your hobbies unless they also have those exact same hobbies.

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago

It's not so much about the hobby itself. It's the having interests part. Having some things you like to do or are passionate about. Sure, some hobbies will attract more interest from women then others, but plenty of women are into video games, working out, or any other "unattractive" hobbies, you just got to find the right match.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I mean sure buddy, but are you gonna open up the bar with "Let me tell you how dependable and good I am at communicating." or are you gonna show her that by telling her about your hobbies and how you stick to them despite hardship. If you can't talk about what you like, how are you gonna talk about the difficult stuff down the line?

I'd say well groomed is more important than "good looking". If you look clean, your clothes are well fitted, hair and nails well trimmed and show some basic hair and skin care you look good regardless of what your face actually looks like.

Thinking that hobbies have no value, that's teenager stuff. So is thinking that what applies to one woman applies to all.

[+] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee -7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Well groomed.. really wasn't necessary. I just wore a t-shirt and whenever I was interested in someone I would take off that t-shirt.

I was age 21-24 though, so teenager stuff might still have applied.

Met my wife when I was 24, now 6 years together.

So yeah, my experience with women basically is from age 17 to 24. As teenager, it was all about hobbies etc.

Now as a married man.. my wife doesn't give a fuck bout my hobbies, she's pregnant so she wants someone dependable. Long term relationship so we need to be communicative.

Hobbies.. we do things together. Outings, watching series. She suffers through my blabbering bout economic stuff that she really doesn't care about. She watches me workout for the so maniest time.

When you're looking for a relationship, all you need to do is have fun. Be charming. Your hobby can be whatever. They want you, not your hobby, not your grooming. If you're fit and you can make her laugh, that's all you need.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I mean sure, different people have different preferences when it comes to grooming. My point is more along the lines of: It doesn't matter how funny you are if you stink and your hair is greasy.

[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Come on bruv, taking a shower takes 10 minutes a day.

I thought you meant like fine shaving your facial hair, making sure your hair length, fade, etc is always on point. Wearing suit or expensive clothing. Wearing perfume.

That's grooming.

Taking a shower and brushing your teeth is the most basic thing

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 day ago

Now you see how fucking low the standards are for men. And yet there are still plenty of men that can't seem to get it.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

Exactly my dude it's basic, I find it crazy that it's not more common.

[–] Fluke@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

And yet, take a look in any Games Workshop and you're quite likely to find people who will happily go weeks without a shower despite sweating like a pig just hauling their immense bulk across the room for another 2 litre bottle of coke or pepsi.

The nearest store to me for example had to put a fucking sign in the window warning that staff will remove any such sources of offensive body odour from the premises and issue bans on repeat offenses.

I mean, what the fuck?!

It's not the ladies' fault they find such utter lack of basic hygiene repulsive, despite what the Taint brothers and their ilk say, but it's the same basic bitch lie every right wing cockbite sells.

"It's not your fault or mine that your life is a bin fire, it's insert target group here's fault. Here, do what I tell you and it'll get better."

All downhill from believing that "pretty little lie". There is currently a rising tide of people caught up in the lie the world over, and they're unwilling to admit they were had. If history is any teacher, it's got to get waaaay worse before the wind shifts.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So yeah, my experience with women basically is from age 17 to 24.

You don't have much experience to be in this conversation. I'm legit happy you clicked with someone at that age, and seem well settled! But that's unusual, and again, that's not much of a resume.

Your hobby can be whatever. They want you, not your hobby, not your grooming. If you're fit and you can make her laugh, that's all you need.

Well... kinda. Not sure why you keep on about grooming not being important. Weird to me. But yes, be fit and make her laugh, good deal! But no, there's a bit more to attraction in most cases. Something here seems a bit shallow.

But hell, look at me and my wife. We're wildly physically attracted to each other. Her smell is like crack to me, and I've done my time with actual crack. We don't have much in common intellectually but we've found some hobbies and interests alike and shared unfamiliar hobbies and interests. In short, we've learned from one another, and that's important to me, and seems to be important to all the women I've been with. They always say I'm "interesting", even if they have, uh, other things to say.

We could probably learn a thing or two talking this out.

[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

I didn't have a job until age 25, so I had all the time in the world to explore and learn.

Unlike my brother. He's 33 now, hasn't had a single relationship that I'm aware of, always busy working. Clearly aiming at a transactional relationship with someone young enough to be fertile by the time he wants to work less.

I wouldn't just go about the amount of time that passed. Between age 17 and 24 I talked to hundreds of people. Settling down doesn't seem unusual to me.

Once again.. fertility.. my wife's pregnant now at age 29, the risk of miscarriage after age 30 becomes quite a lot higher.

I think it's our current society that settles down too late in life. That's why the labour force is shrinking. Too many people on retirement who never had kids. (Belgium)

On a subject like this, for people that are struggling to get a relationship. The only advice I should give is to talk to a lot of people. Don't be a simp (don't act fake), use your intuition. Trial and error. Break hearts, get your heart broken. Find someone that you click with, it feels like biking on asphalt. Not on a rocky road.

The smell thing. That's because you're bonded. Oxytocin probably is the reason for that. Hormones are a hell of a drug.

Yeah, all someone has to do is to be interesting.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Incels are low value men...but not for the reason they think

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

They choose to be low value when they get bitter about their assumption they are low value.

I'm glad I had someone I wasn't attracted to pursuing me early on because it led to the realization that giving in to that bitterness would just seal my fate when I was feeling down about rejection. Part of the bitterness was wanting someone to say, "hey, no, that's not the case" and date me to make me feel better, but from experiencing the other side of it, I knew there wasn't anything she could have done to make me into anything other then friendship and the more she pushed, the less I'd be sympathetic, not the other way around.

Things didn't turn around right away when I realized that, but it was an important part of the "don't be unattractive" rule. There's more to it, of course, but being whiney and bitter is pretty unattractive to most people, I'd guess.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A "low value man" is a man that tries to decide another ones value.

[–] INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 1 points 1 day ago

🪞

[–] green_copper@kbin.earth 7 points 2 days ago

No one else can decide your value.

Others can decide over your value inside their own socials context, which lead to the value-judging person and their peers to act accordingly towards you.
If you apply this value to yourself or reject it and if other contexts and groups adopt the value is an other story.

[–] yunxiaoli@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

Imagine the world is a video game. Higher value characters of the race man would have things like a high earning job (a good class), a decent amount of wealth, high physical stats, high charisma. Low value characters would have a terrible class (smelly gamer), stats they believe are skewed towards intelligence, and no money.

If your world view is like this except you also believe there are hidden stats you can't ever change(like looks), and you're in a capitalist nightmarescape where even changing your class and amount of wealth is typically impossible, then you've accidently an entire incel.

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We're just real men

[–] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Men in Tights!

[–] JohnnyMac@lemmy.world 148 points 3 days ago (1 children)

God this is stupid even for green text

[–] CityPop@lemmy.today 106 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That’s how you now it’s not fake.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 49 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It still could be gay

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not gay enough, shits bad

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

He and his friend could be sleeping together, but otherwise in an open relationship.

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago

The friend is just jealous the girl is getting more attention from OP and going full yandere

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 59 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I've legit had this happen to me in high school. I stopped being friends with guys after it became.... "aggressive".

[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 26 points 3 days ago

I had this happen to me in my 30’s. (Sorta.)

Polyamory - a woman who hadn’t been taking on new partners started dating me. My other girlfriend’s husband began awkwardly pursuing her with no grace or finesse. It got awkward. An acquaintance learned that I was dating the second woman (who had also only recently gotten back into the scene), and began pursuing her.

It’s like some guys think that because a woman is available to one (well, two or three), she’s available to all. It felt very much like blood in the water to a shark.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 44 points 3 days ago

One of them is lower value than the other, it would seem.

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

Teenager moment