Ask Lemmy

I’d go back and burn that fucking Almanac…

I'd go back and kick my own ass for many reasons but mostly for not asking out that girl that one time I was like 65% sure she was into me. Still can't let that go. What a little punk ass b.

Tell my grandfather to get his heart checked out. He died too young. I'd love to see just how much sense he'd beat into my father, who is a complete garbage can of a person.

Already did it.

A lot of slaughter, if I’m being honest

Shoot John Wilkes Booth before he got into the theater.

Give a computer to Isaac Newton.

Go to June 14, 1946, Jamaica Hospital in Queens, New York. No reason.

• Erase fasciasts
• Install utopia & a mix of solar punk and star trek like ideals
• Install democracy everywhere
• Save Harambee
• Time Travel and observe real history from the safety of my time machine
• Undo Brexit
• Use butterfly effect to make me female but have my life be the same

I would go back to September 1st 2001 and make sure a certain new yorker was in a certain building on a very specific date.

First, I would SLEEP SO FUCKING MUCH

The usual. Invest in bitcoin, not get married, become a girl 20 years earlier. Just common stuff.

Well, I can think of a couple US presidents from the 20th century that could use a good showcase of the future they caused by throwing Americans under the bus. Either that, or just clone their voices, fake messages that incriminate their actions and get them impeached, release them publicly via distribution to all major TV news outlets discretely, and watch what happens. If nothing else, just getting rid of them completely might be a solution as well, in hopes their vice president doesn't make the same mistakes.

That, or go back to summer 2024 and tell the guy at that rally to aim a little to the left (or right) depending on which ear he shot.

So many dead billionaires and political figures... just like... a ludicrous amount.

Time travel.

Man, I'd print so much time..

Come on, can't ask this kind of question without giving us the rules.

Paradox free? Does the future change? Do I go as my current self or is age adjusted? Do I keep my current knowledge and memories and skills? Do I get to go back? Do I get multiple tries to get the optimal outcome?

So many variables with these kinds of hypotheticals, I can't give you any meaningful answer without general outlines of the rules. Can't play the game if I don't know the rules.

Buy and sell an actually profitable nft. It'll be like winning the lottery without the drawbacks.

I'd be rich and no one would be jealous of me. In fact most of them will assume I'm lying about my money and not try to rob me. And who would rob an android user with no car or brand names? A rich loser seems to be the best way to live.

Find the last winning lottery numbers that somebody did not pick, very large lottery like billion dollar in size. Go back in time go tothe appropriate states so I don’t have to reveal my identity and win.

I won’t tell anybody that I want. I just tell my friends and family. Hey, I made money on the stock market here some extra cash for you.

Then I jump into the future and find the cures for Alzheimer’s dementia, congestive heart failure, kidney failure, liver failure, how to give a person 20/20 vision with just a pill or something, same way to fix hearing. Jump a couple hundred years beyond that to make sure there wasn’t some sort of long-term effect.

Then I bring those cures back here along with exactly how to make them. I patent them and license them. The charge I would license the cure is out to other companies so they can make them. The cost for them to make the cure what I would charge them. Would be basically my cost. I would just charge my attorney fees and any other taxes I might get charged. And then I would charge five dollars a year. I don’t mean five dollars a year per vile, I mean five dollars a year. Just let the companies make it and distribute it. If some company got greedy and decided to charge a super high amount, I’d build my own company to distribute it.

Maybe go far enough to find a solution for the micro plastics that we created. And bring that back and fix the environment.

After I did all that, now it’s time to have some fun.

Getting enough money so I could buy the entire Stargate franchise from Amazon. Hire on the original co-creators and the original writers and make a of new episodes. And tell them 25 episodes per season five seasons guaranteed. If no broadcaster wants to broadcast if no streaming service wants to pick it up, I’ll just go straight to DVD/Blu-ray/4K. Yeah, I know there’s a bunch of people that don’t want that many episodes per season, I don’t care I’d make that many episodes per .😁

Find Nigel Farage in the field after he survived his 2014 plane crash and… change that.

Possibly saving the country from Brexit even getting to referendum status, and if it did, possibly changing the result. And then maybe preventing the revolving door Tory governments that fucked up the initial Covid response, since most of what they’ve done over the last decade has been to try and swing voters away from UKIP/Reform rather then actually do things that are good fit the country as a whole.

I'd go back to the 90s and go to a live performance of Daft Punk. Their concerts were absolutely crazy, live remixes, etc. when I was alive during that time I wasn't old enough to even know who they were so it's not like I 'missed out'. If we're going the selfish self-serving route I'd def buy stock in yahoo / google. Then would travel to 5 years ago and reinvest that money into renewables and influence into politics to hopefully steer us away from the shit we are dealing with now. Oooo Id also go back and look up all the oil baron assassins and counter assassinate them so electric would actually take hold in the 80s like it was supposed to.

Easy, make sure I was never born.

Transition at a younger age. Would have saved me a lot of hurt in the years between

I would use it once and promptly die in the coldness of space

Interesting question i have about how a time machine would work....

Does the machine take you back in time but leave you in the same SPACE? Or does it compensate for movement of objects in space? Because say you travel 2 months backwards into the past....you might exit the machine in the middle of the vacuum of space, given that the Earth is not in the same location. I feel like any future time machines would need to factor in a lot of astrophysics to solve this one..

Go back in time and buy another 1997 F-150. The thing is an amazing example of do it simple & do it right, and it will last. But, it's also close to 30 years old, nearly every system on it is showing the tell-tale signs of age. I would love to have an actual new one, it would last me the rest of my days. (On a happy note, I just finished putting a rebuilt motor in mine. So, here's hoping for another 25+ years).

It saddens me that even if I could afford a new car at today's prices, I don't want what they're making.

Gray’s Sports Almanac.

I’d go 50 and 100 years into the future and see when and how time travel has been abused and then based on that I’d decide if I should go back and destroy all of the creator’s hard work before somebody else got a hold of it.

I’d also probably go back and see my grandma for a while before the dementia got bad. Bring the family to meet her.

Travel to the Mesozoic era. So many cool reptiles that I'd love to see in person (and hopefully, at a safe enough distance)!

I would go back in time and tell myself not to study physics and waste my life trying to invent time travel and then promptly vanish in a puff of logic.

I'd go to the future and check it out. The question also made me wonder how far into the future one would need to go before they wouldn't be able to speak the same language as anyone?