Probably make a fixed deposit with the principal of 1 Million, and then after a year, (Assuming annual interest rate of around 7%) I would get 1.07 million, and give you 1 Million back, and still have USD 70,000, which is still a good amount to get for free. If we get quarterly interest rate, it would be slightly higher, so will try for that
this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2025
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Asklemmy
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Take out a loan using it as collateral. Then it doesnβt matter if you take it back, I still have the loan. Then I guess buy a small company and gut it for resources. Rinse and repeat. Get rich. Lose my ethics. Start paying off women with offers of a horse. Lose my hair. Get my butt hair put on my head. Buy a shitty company and make it shittier. Treat my kids like garbage. Buy the president. Be the most hated man in the world. Fake my gaming stats. Die alone.
You forgot try to enlarge my micro penis and break it completely so now not only can I not get it up without a hand pump I am completely unable to climax.
The only pump and dump Musk knows is the stock market
no notes, i'd do the same
Can I do nothing with it?
Use 500k to get my foot in the door at one of the 0% tax havens (they often require >=500k investment to get a legal entity representation). Use the other 500k + my savings to rake in the expended 500k at 0% tax via investments. Pay you back on time and be left with a 0% tax haven foothold that'll make me +20-30% on anything I'll invest in the future, compared to what I'd gain on investments right now due to taxation in my country.
Why not just become a regular criminal instead of a douchbag criminal?
Because the one is legal while the other is not. That's all we need to know about the system we live in, no?
- Take the money
- Travel the world
- Fake my death so you can't ask for the money back
- Change my name to something Russian sounding
- Find goth latina partner
- Run away together
- Start a new life in a country where no one speaks English
- Teach goth latina how to torrent and use Linux
- Mary goth latina
- Grow old and die for real
This plan will work, right?
I have this strange feeling that you're into Latinas...
Potentially goth, as well.
I sensed that as well but wasn't very sure lol.
It's true.
A small loan of a million dollars?
I refuse to accept it. I don't make deals with magical tricksters. Same reason I don't fuck around with genies. It's just not worth it man.
OP hasn't specified what he'd do if not repaid so that's not genie-like according to my Aladdin research.
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I'd invest in a CD at a credit union. No risk of loss and at least a 3-4% rate, or I'd park it in a high interest savings account. Some are even close to 5%. Then I'd ask for the same deal again next year and every year after lol
This. This is the way. Even if the APY is just 4% I get 40k free.
Even if I suck, they still have to pay me the 2 mil
Confound your OP magic! I was going to buy some guns!
Well, I could invest it and pocket the returns... not sure how far 1 mil will get these days.
Or, I could just https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HrmD_vIMIk
imagine getting that deal and also getting invited to the white house's insider trading signal group
The hottest gambling house right now π
Since you will change the past and reverse the changes due to me having no intention to give the money back, i will try to create as much chaos as possible with the money
Am I reading this right or is everyone else in the thread reading it wrong? It seems to me what you're saying is that you go back in time and take it away after the fact like we never had it. So all these answers about buying stocks or bonds or everything are pointless. Objectively the answer is to have as much fucking fun as you can cuz it's going to be taken away with timey wimey stuff before it ever happened. Am I right?
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How much would an assassin to kill you cost? π€
Anyway, best to refuse this offer.
about tree fiddy
Go big or go home. Use all of it on the mega lotto and hope to win
buy a house and save the rest except about 150k i would need to hire someone to kill you.
Where are these magical houses that only cost $850k in 2025 π
... most places outside of major cities? I'm seeing ~$580k in some of the upper middle class new construction neighborhoods in my area.
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Iβm curious how you can take it back if I no longer have it. Say I spend it on activities and services, how can you recover it? Physical goods, you might be able to take those.
I'm telling you, don't mess around with magical tricksters. If you can't pay OP back, he'll probably take your soul, your first born child, your name, or some other demonic shit like that. Don't make a deal with Rumpelstiltskin, he will find a way to collect!
Are you familiar with the concept of debt?
Good luck collecting that.
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Buy $1 million dollars worth of weed
What if it goes bad?
Make hashish out of if
Freezer
I'm putting a hit out on j4k3
Please hit on me
How are you delivering it? That's a lot of pennies.
I'm asking the wrong question, does it have to be the same 1 million dollars you gave me? Can it be something which is valued (by you) at 1 million dollars?
How does inflation effect this? A million dollars today might not be worth a million dollars in a year.
If I buried a million dollars worth pennies in my backyard, well actually, I probably wouldn't be done digging the hole after a year. Also, I don't actually have a backyard. If I did have a yard and it already had a large pit dug, which could contain a million bucks worth of pennies, after a year would I need to haul them out for you or does your OP magic also allow for easy transportation?
Is your OP magic for sale? Must be less than 1 million dollars or I can't afford it.
I don't know money penny. Maybe a bond; just a bond
Probably get myself elected somewhere and use my privileges to screw the country for millions in the same way that my elected representatives have been doing since this century started.
Doing a decent job for the country's citizens seems rather passe these days.
Buy some government bonds, I guess? Stocks investment seems risky right now. What happens if I have less than 1 million when you try to take it back?
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