Transcript
A tweet by Ivanka Trump @ivankatrump saying "I cannot believe that Theodore is eight months old today! Happy birthday little teddy bear!" with an admittedly cute picture of a child smiling. It has a reply from @blacknmild saying "this isn't how birthdays work"
Happy unbirthday Theodore
Maybe this is like Tesla's odometers, but for birthdays?
Maybe due to all of the accomplishments of the Cheeto king's administration life expectancy will be measured in months to hide the fact that our collective life expectancy has been drastically reduced. When you got studies coming out saying that the poorest European lives about as long as the richest American, well you know you got a problem.
If 8 months equals a birthday, which used to be 12 months
And that's reflective of shortened life spans
Then life expectancy is 2/3 of what it was (8/12 = 2/3)
And I only expected to live to at most 60 before (obesity)
But I turn 40 this year...
Well, it's been nice knowing you all o7
What the fuck is Theodore?
Ted. People tend to have longer names that then get shortened for everyday use.
Is that so, Ma?
What are you guys talking about, my birth day is a weekly recurring event. I was born on a Saturday so I'm now 2078 weeks old.
I am very normal.
Wth? That's a birth week. That's not how normal people celebrate.
I'm coming over tomorrow to show you how to properly do birthdays. Also, do you know a place where I can find 14,000+ candles for your cake?
No, that’s not true. A birth week recurs yearly, not weekly.
A birth day is the day on which you were born, say Saturday, and you’ll have one of those every week.
A birth week is the number of the week in which you were born, say week 14, and it takes a year before it’s week 14 again. Same interval as a birth month.
A birth date only occurs once. It’ll never be July 4, 1981 ever again.
This is all very normal and logical. Beep boop.
Happy Birthday!
Thank you! You are welcome to join me next week when I celebrate my 2079th birth day.
Never fails to amaze me how out of touch with reality they are.
and stupid. Don't forget stupid.
Also evil. Mostly evil.
The entire family is dumb as rocks.
It'd be hilarious if daddy dumb dumb wasnt a cult leader with so much power.
Teddy may have turned 8mo in that meme, but you sir/madam turned 1yo today (on Lemmy). So happy cake day to you!
Ha! Thanks
It surprises me how stupid people seem to get power easily.
Happy cake day btw.
Confidence will get you very far in many fields. Unfortunately, more intelligent people are aware there are things they do not know and rarely have the confidence levels comparable to that of a dimwit.
My wife has a one month birthday every month as well.
In Dutch, birthday translates to "verjaardag" where "jaar" means "year" and "dag" means day, so the literal meaning of "verjaardag" comes down to "the day you grow one year older". By that logic, the day a baby grows one month older could be named "vermaanddag", where "maand" means month. It's not a real word but it's a good pun and it would get the idea across. Unfortunately it doesn't work in English.
dag
y'like dags?
Anniversary comes from annum, which means year, so you could have a monthversary maybe
month in latin is mensis (I'm told) so mensiversary
How can you be so sexist that you exclude women by celebrating men only?! /s
I think they get a mensesversary instead, though I don't think many of them celebrate that one (unless there's a pregnancy scare)
To be slightly absurd: Every day is a day you are one year older than the same day the previous year
ok
Gross, they're making more of them.
I don’t like picking on young kids no matter who their parents are. That kid has a chance to break the cycle like any of us do.
I was hoping Barron would turn out somewhat less psycho, but by all accounts that apple hasn’t fallen very far from the tree at all
The turd doesn't fall far from the ass.
"now remember, you have a chance to go against your family, be disowned, lose all your possessions and shortcuts in life, but do something positive in life"
"I'll weigh my options and give it some consideration"
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Her family is living in the mad hatters tea party