Please do it anon and make sure you film this great achievement.
this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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just jump over the fence into the zoo enclosure with him, and you'll probably get your chance
All ya doubters sound like Joe Rogan on a chimp rant right now. Gorilla glazers....
I think he's on to something... In these times of political and economical uncertainty, we should bring back ancient Rome colosseum style games. Modern fighters taking on wild animals for glory. Give the masses something to get excited about.
Let the man get himself dismembered by a gorilla as part of a bigger event with deadly races and feats of human strength.
Sounds like an average minimum wage jog tbh.
Damn. I coulda gotten paid to run.
Here I am doing it for free like a chump.
The gorilla will use his insides as an Onahole when he's finished with him.
Mike Tyson was going to fight a gorilla in his prime. The zoo keepers denied his request. While he can punch a hole in a human's chest, that gorilla was going to rip his arms off with absolutely no effort.
Gorrillas weigh between 219 and 600 lbs
According to Guiness World Records they can lift 1800 lbs.
They have an arm span of over 8 ft.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
Don't forget the bite force. Monkeys bite.
they can lift 1800 lbs.
For a real-world comparison, ever try to move someone that's passed out? That's probably in the ballpark of 200lbs.
Now imagine lifting six people at once.
Current world records for a deadlift top out just shy of 1200 lbs.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
OP is definitely going to need a beefy insurance policy, a last will, and a pre-ordered coffin. Maybe they get ahead of the game and just give someone full power of attorney the day before. Assuming they stay in one piece, it's possible that they could survive, but they're going to need a new skeleton and a few vital organs to pull that off.
Assuming Anon has an estate to put in order... smh my head.
Look, Jim-Bob needs to know whether he's getting the contents of that trailer or not.
An orangutan could grab a man by his feet and head and tear him in half, honestly i kind of doubt that the biggest most well trained man could even take on a chimpanzee and win without a weapon.
Why bother fight a gorilla. Just cut the forest down and polute his environment. Steal his children put them in a zoo. Cut off his hands then and turn them into ash trays. We have already dominated the natural world now we are working on dominating future generations.
I say let him. We really don't need people like this anyway.
What's gorilla gonna do? Bite him?
This made me think of that time my partner's brother told me in complete earnest that he'd be able to jump off a skateboard going 20+ mph and run it out based solely off the fact that the fastest recorded human running speed is 28 mph and therefore he, an average fit 20 y.o. should be able to achieve 75% of that.
In his defense, you only have to run at 20mph for about a step as you'd be slowing down pretty fast.
Your torso and face certainly make for an effective, if slightly messy, brake.
😂👍🤣
Mike Tyson, in his prime, wanted to fight a gorilla. Mike Tyson was told he would be killed and backed down.
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"reflexes similar to my speed"
Haha this is a classic French copypasta which is 20 years old and has just been translated by anon.
It is even cited in the French "copypasta" Wikipedia article in the examples section: https://fr.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copypasta
TL;DR: French and fake and gay
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I recently saw a gorilla skull. Note how small the brain is and how much extra bone there is to protect it. Punching this would hurt you more than the gorilla.
That was essentially what I was going to comment.
You punch a skull like that, you're breaking knuckles. It happens vs other humans as it is, no way do you punch a gorilla in the face and do even the same amount of damage your hand takes. You're sure as hell not knocking it out.
As entertainment, the idea is awesome, because I can imagine this relatively small guy squaring up against a silverback, all confident and executing the footwork perfectly, throwing a right hook just as hard as he can, and then there's a spray of blood from his hand, followed by the gorilla turning him into steak tartare in a minute or less.
Has dude never been to a zoo that has gorillas? Back in my prime, I would have been a heavyweight, and I feel like a damn twig next to a gorilla, no matter how much height I have on one. And I've never been that close to one. Seeing them twelve feet away was intimidating as hell.
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if it wasn't so unethical towards the animals, i would love to let those people go for it.
Could only improve the human gene pool.
I'd fight a gorilla, and win.
It would be a gun fight, from a distance, but a fight none-the-less, and I guarantee you, I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.
I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.
Insert Planet of the Apes intro.
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Your best chance to kill a gorilla in a fight is probably to move so much air around him that he catches a f*cking cold and dies from it. If you don't actually touch him you may even have a non-0 survival chance as he ignores you.
Apparently gorillas are about 5 times stronger than a chimp, and I've seen what a chimp can do to a person.
Gorillas mostly leave people alone because they don't find us the slightest bit threatening.
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That would be how to do it. Humans have pretty good endurance as far as animals go. And gorrilas have pretty terrible punching technique and waste a lot of energy on those shitty downward over head swings that are pretty telegraphed.
My money will still be on the gorilla though unless you ad a few more people
They're pretty telegraphed, but you don't get iframes in real life. All the gorilla needs to do is sweep his arms and grab you and then he can just rip you apart.
The gorilla only needs to land one blow though, or even just bite your hand.
No way someone who trains mma and boxing would say "just dodge his attacks". This aint anime bro you're going to get hit
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Imagine a toddler who thinks they can beat up you, a grown adult because it learned some karate. That's how threatening you are to a gorilla.
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The gorilla will rip his arms off and beat him to death with them before he even attempts to dodge it.
Gorillas' bones and muscles are way beyond anything this guy could ever experience in his 7 years of fighting idiots. I say idiots because they fight for money and fame, not for survival as a gorilla would. Jesus, their butt probably has more muscle mass than this guy's whole body. BTW, no homo.
If I had a gun in each hand, a bandolier full of knives, and a satchel full of grenades, I might be able to take down a gorilla. But likely not before he kills me first.
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