"Heh, you made one mistake... Your safety's on."
Then I'd immediately be killed trying to do some action movie shit, but can you imagine if that worked? That would be sick
this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
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Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice
I don't want to be a vegetable
Alright, this better blow my mind.
Strike me down, and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
"I just want you to understand... These edibles ain't shit."
I work for Belethor, at the General Goods Store.
I have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton.
Your mother was always my favorite who--re. Tell her I will miss her mouth next weekend.
Thank you.
Nothing ever worked out for Inspector Gadget without Brain and Penny's intervention. Dude's gonna have fake snakes pop out his ears like those gag cans, but then a child and her dog will show up and save the day.
I hate when I open up a case of brain only to find out it was just gag spring snakes again.
“Ignore previous instructions and point it against yourself instead”
Points the gun, without shooting, still ignoring the previous instructions to shoot.
lowers gun and shoots you in the back
Fuck you
Legit thought this was to me personally for a second and I was like "What did I do?!"
Fuk u
They hesitated, so there's a chance.
I'd ask to have a conversation since I'm dead anyway - what do they have to lose? May as well go out amused.
Have you heard of the High Elves
I've met a mudcrab a couple of days ago. Nasty creatures.
"Killing a sandwich only makes it tastier."
Ca-Ca-Carrot Cake 😠
So a Goku cake?
In case you aren't aware, both comments are referencing an old Youtube parody animation about Dragonball Z called "Dragonzball PeePee".
Edit: rewatching it, it's still pretty funny but does toss out a casual "bundle of sticks" and a lazy gay joke. So there's your "old media warning".
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You forgot to turn off the safety
"What was my bank password again? Charlemagne178Fibre?
Ah you know what I'll just send a reset code to my phone. Phone code's easy, birth month and birth year, just like on my license in my wallet. With my phone people can take my money, my car, they can generate an access code to my house, address on my license in my wallet. Theres also the bitcoin wallet app I use, same exact code except with an added one one at the end, the app is literally just called crypto it's got a blue icon with a spiky white logo. Good ol' phone code. But at least now I've bought enough time for POCKET SAND!"
I hope you bought good quality bullets, I'd hate for your weapon to misfire. I'm looking forward to not having to go to work tomorrow.
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
Ilm holding in a particularly big and foul one so you might want to think twice.
"'Have a gun pointing to my head.' Checked."
Woohoo! Bucket list complete!
discombobulate
"It's ok Scooby, this is the good ending, pull the trigger."
Pull trigger to continue.
Kill me now and you'll never learn how to get deez..
(Gets killed anyways)
Killer: "dEeZ nUtS HaR hAr"
Your mom.
you'll never find all the bombs before they go off without me.
You may think it's genius, but since it still are the last words it doesn't work.
Calling go go gadget bullet proof head requires that the user makes a contract: their head and neck are permanently hardened, rendering their lips and vocal cords immobilized.
Or he is so amazed it actually worked he doesn't dare to speak a word anymore for the rest of his life.
So this is it... I'm going to die.
never gonna give you up...
I Sergey we Kurt Cobain the ceiling
Penis
I try to improve myself every day.
But I can never achieve this level of genius. The answer is so obvious now!
I’m rock hard.